Our Identity

 

Photo Credit: Bazemore Photography

What is in a title? Most people, myself included, place a lot of importance on who we are and our identities by our titles. But what is in a title? I have been thinking about this and trying to figure out how I feel about my titles.  Originally, it came up because I was not able to volunteer in two different capacities within the last 6 months.  I missed the activities and they both meant a lot to me… I placed value in these titles.  I liked being associated with these volunteer opportunities.

But then I lost those titles. I was sad about losing them because I really enjoyed volunteering in these separate roles.

Then more recently I started to think about titles more in-depth. I realized all the titles we have are essentially temporary. I realized that during our lifetime, potentially all our titles will be lost.  It a sobering thought and morbid at the same time.  That realization did not feel too good.

Then. God.

There have only been a handful of times I truly felt the Holy Spirit nudge my heart in a very simple and specific, yet profound way at three major crossroads in my life.  The Holy Spirit in these moments changed my outlook and course of major decisions. 

Here are the three major moments from the last 11 years, in this order:

Photo Credit: Bazemore Photography

When I realized I wanted to date my now husband, Kyle.  We had been friends for 1.5 years at the time and were very close friends through our church community- the Buckhead Church, part of North Point Ministries. I had dated other people and none of the relationships had worked out.  I was discouraged and was starting to doubt if I would find someone whom I could share my life. Then God. It was a simple nudge of insight from the Holy Spirit, “Kyle would be perfect for you.” It was profound and I remember thinking back to that nudge, “He is!”

Photo Credit: Bazemore Photography

The second time was about a year and a half after our son, James, was born.  If you look at my previous blog post about my health struggles, it was clearly a very hard season for me and my whole family. At this time, things were looking up and Kyle and I started going back and forth thinking maybe we should consider having another child.  Boy, was that a hard season. We have so much love to give but the cons greatly outweighed the benefit of me personally having more children. Then. God. The Holy Spirit then gave me a nudge of comfort, “One is enough.”  It was the comfort I needed and the confirmation we were looking for at the time.  I tear up just thinking about that time because it was that emotional.

Jen & Kyle Behnke with their first three tractors

The third time the Holy Spirit nudged me was when we were at another major crossroad. We were thinking about starting a trucking company. Let’s just say deciding for both of us to quit our good paying jobs, put all of our livelihood on the line, with a one and a half year old, the same year my mom died, was a huge decision. Then. God. The Holy Spirit nudged my heart to take action, “The Lord can’t do big things in your life unless you put yourself out there. Just start with taking one step in faith.” So, we did take one step in faith at a time, then another, and then another.  Over 5 years, God has blessed us, United Federal Logistics Inc., to go from 3 tractors and 6 drivers, to now we have 23 tractors and over 45 people on staff. Our goal is still to be a trucking company people want to work for and provide a great opportunity for success for our staff.

Okay, back to last week and this new nudge from the Holy Spirit. I was thinking about the different titles I have and the sobering thought that they all at one point may be lost or change.  Maybe for the better, maybe not. Then the Holy Spirit gave me a nudge of comfort, “There is one title you will always have: Child of God and Daughter of God.” Wow talk about my mind blown.  I have heard these phrases many times. I have sung these words, read them in books and blogs, heard them from pastors or friends, but never like this.  It totally changed my whole outlook on my identity. Whatever title I have, lose, or will have, one title will remain, “Child of God, loved, forgiven, and redeemed through Jesus.”

This is also true for you!!!

“The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.” John 10:3-5 NIV

Stay safe and hug your loved ones.

I choose you, EVERY time!

In August, it will be two years of being married to Kyle.  It has really flown by.  I love him more every day!!  We just really have fun together.  He is the most amazing Christian leader and someone worth following.  I would follow him anywhere and everywhere. I trust and respect him completely.  In return, he loves me completely, as I like to notice, how Christ loves us.  This is the key to our marriage and I believe any healthy marriage.  In marriage it seems you either grow together or unfortunately, you grow apart.  Growing together is what we will constantly strive for throughout our marriage.  It takes joyful work, patience, and tons of grace!  Sometime you have to, consciously, choose to love your spouse.

I really don’t know how I could ever live without him.  He is my everything. I tell him almost every day, “You know, if I had to pick one thing to have in this world… I choose you, EVERY time!!”  I also tell him that he is “my favorite, anything.”  He is my best friend, and the love of my life.  It is kind of funny to think about but, when I was single, I never really could imagine or expected to ever find someone like him or think about loving someone so much.  He is kind of easy to get along with which helps.  We were also older when we started dating so we were mature.  You have to be satisfied in your relationship with yourself and the Lord or there will be a void in your heart. Then, you try to fill that void with someone else.    

To quote part of my favorite poem by St. Anthony of Padua, “Be Satisfied in Me” he wrote:

“Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone,
To have a deep soul relationship with another,
To be loved thoroughly and exclusively.
But God, to a Christian, says,
“No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content
With being loved by Me alone,
With giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me,
With having an intensely personal and unique relationship
With Me alone…”

When I was single, I had this poem taped behind my bedroom door and I read it almost every day.  It helped me focus on my relationship with myself and the Lord.  I really can’t stress that enough, how important it is to be a “complete person” before you are serious about adding that special person to your life.  My recommendation to those being patient in God’s plan for your life is to enjoy every season.  Then when you are ready and the person God has for you is ready, God will unite you together.  Timing is everything. 

The Struggle

I have had my fair share of struggles.  I have gone through long periods of sickness, I was laid off three times in Commercial Real Estate before I went into different fields, and I had loved and lost multiple times.  Now I am healthy, I love my job, and I am married to the most incredible man!  Without having lived my life and experiencing the struggles, I could never fully appreciate the blessings God has given me.  I always knew in my heart that God was with me and leaning into him and my loved ones is what carried me through the trials in my life.

It is kind of like appreciating a rainbow, or two, after a huge storm.  Or witnessing the most beautiful sunrise after the darkness of night.  The colors seem so brilliant when you gaze at a rainbow and the sun and breeze feel heavenly after leaving the shadows.  God let's us experience life, and unfortunately he can't protect us from bad things happening to us.  What he can do is give you the strength to persevere and he can carry you through the darkness or help you move past the trying periods in your life.  He blesses you with the grace to stay strong when we feel like we can't go on anymore.

My favorite quote is from the United States Declaration of Independence:

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." 

We have the right to pursue happiness and have a will to thrive.  I don't know why but this is so profound to me.  No one ever said we had the right to be happy.  It is something I strive for every day and I make my own happiness by enjoying the little things and living in the moment.   It is a journey we are on all of our days to live life to the fullest, keeping all the while our inner joy.  Letting our light shine bright and loving others as Jesus and the Lord so loved us.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16 NIV

One Compliment

Isn't it funny how one compliment or good deed can totally change  your outlook and mood?  Words and actions can be so powerful.  They can convey love and appreciation bringing and lifting a persons spirit or they can be weapons to bring someone down.  Obviously everyone would love to be encouraged.  There is a cycle of love and it can all start with someone choosing to love.  If you are having tension in a relationship and things seem difficult, saying something encouraging or doing something to please or help the other person can change the trajectory of the relationship.  Love is always a choice.  In the midst of any circumstance we always have a choice how we can respond.

Every decision we make will change and set into motion other actions.  Most people go through life reacting to situations instead of being intentional.  It is all about being intentional.  How we respond is so important.  One of the biggest things I have learned is when you say something you can never take it back.  We get one shot for a relationship and if the trust is broken that is it in a lot of cases.  It is also great to be consistent in your words and actions.  You just never can know how much something will mean to someone whether positive or negative.

I love when people go out of their way to let you know they notice your hard work and dedication to a job or endeavor.  Sometimes just knowing people care can make all the difference in the world. Knowing that you are instrumental to a goal or a mission and you are helping execute and work towards a goal is pivotal.  Be the change you want to see in the world.  It can all start with a smile and a mind set to improve the lives of those around you through laughter, joy and love!!

The most important thing in life...

The most important relationships in my life, in this order are the ones with: the Lord, my husband, my family, and my friends.  How fortunate are the people that are able to develop healthy relationships with all three.  If you ask me on any given day which I would rather have a good professional life or a good personal life?  I would tell you healthy personal life wins every time. 

From healthy relationships everything else starts to make sense.  The people in your life have the biggest impact on you.  Andy Stanley talked today about the people that love you and the people that hurt you.  The story of my life and the people in it, this is what has shaped me today.  The Lord has blessed me with incredible people who have poured love into me, because of this I have been able to pour love into other people. 

If you know love, you show love. Having love in your heart and in your soul, there is nothing that can beat that.  Through love you can overcome any obstacle.  I am a big believer that you grow.  You can grow stronger, you can evolve into something different. Through the loving pivotal relationships in your life you will feel the comfort.  Love can comfort you even in the most difficult circumstances.  If you have love it gives you strength.  Love will lift you when you can't lift your own spirit. 

The good news is Jesus Christ.  His love is perfect and sustaining.  The love of Jesus will comfort your soul when you feel uneasy.  If you let Jesus into your heart he will give you guidance.  This is exactly where he wants to be... in you.  He wants to be a part of you.  He wants you to have the closeness to feel his will and not make you go so far to get good advice.  Being in the word of the Bible will reveal to you the way Jesus loves and how we should love others.  When we love others we can provide the comfort Jesus gives us. 

We all are desperate for this love.  When people don't look to Jesus sometimes people look the other way and go into a dark place.  The thing to remember is Jesus is so big he can pull you out of the darkest place and he will fight for you.  He will fight to be in your life and all we have to do is ask him to come into our hearts.  He won't barge in, but he will be there with you.  Even through periods where he is silent or the answer to your prayers are "No."  It never, ever means he isn't listening or is not there.  He is always there.  He voice may not seem very loud if you are not listening but the whisper gets louder as you are more open to his will for your life.  The quieter you are the louder his voice will become. So, quiet your spirit and God's voice will lead your path.

The Account of YOUR Life...

What am I doing with what I have?!  When I give an account of my life on judgement day to the Lord, I will not compare my story to anyone else. In the end, all that will matter is how I lived my own life.  Comparing our lives to other people is a waist of time!! In deciding where you will spend eternity, it will not matter how other people treated you, it will depend on how you treat other people!  It will not matter how much money you make, it will matter how you give back.  How you give back to God's Kingdom.  How have you blessed other people with the blessings God has graced you with in your life?

What a thought!!

Think about the people that are heroes.  The people that inspire us.  They are the people that help in others time of need.  The people that come to mind are the women and men in uniform.  They sacrifice, they lead, they save.  They fight for justice and freedom... so we don't have to be in danger.  They physically leave their family and loved ones to serve our country.  They leave their families to ensure that the greater good can rest easily.  While we sleep, they are vigilant.  They keep watch, and often times put themselves in EXTREME danger.  Most people don't think twice about how safe and fortunate we are to live in a society that respects every walk of life and our freedoms. 
 
Jesus is the ULTIMATE hero, and He inspires me!!

I really don't care what people say about religion and politics in our country.  The Lord is part of us and our Nation.   "IN GOD WE TRUST," American Money!!  We shouldn't have to hide or feel sorry for having a relationship with our Savior.  God is alive and well!  God commands us to love one another.  "So now I am giving you a new commandment:  Love each other.  Just as I have loved you, you should love each other," John 13:34 NIV.  Christians and other religions that know God and accept His love, realize when you show love, you model God.  We shouldn't have to hide our love for one another, just like we shouldn't have to hide our love for the Lord. 

The difference between Christianity and other religions is the realization that Jesus came as God in human form and He so loved the world that He died the most humiliating and excruciating death on a cross so we will ALWAYS be forgiven.  If this wasn't the case we would still be making animal sacrifices trying to make atonement for our sins.  Now, it is so easy to be forgiven just by letting Jesus into our hearts.  All we have to do is pray to God admitting that we are sinners.  Realizing we can NEVER be good enough or do enough to live a blameless life.  Then we ask for forgiveness of the sins in our life.  We ask God to live in our hearts.  Then we accept his grace that we don't have to be perfect and we never will be.  We can be forgiven because Jesus already paid the price with His blood for our sins.  Jesus died so we could have a relationship with God. 

So, on judgement day this is how my conversation with God will go:

"I know you are Lord. I know that you died for me. You died so I could be forgiven.  I am forgiven and I accepted your grace.  You showed me grace so I showed others grace.  You love me, so I loved others.  By this love, they knew I am yours." 

Then I will ask him, "Pretty please, can I share eternity with you?!"
 
Then He will reply, "Yes, you are MINE!!"

Humility, Truth, and Grace

One of the things I love most in people is a humble spirit.  There is nothing that can replace someone who is not proud or boastful.  This is actually one of the main reasons I feel in love with my husband.  He is the most humble person I know.  He is the type of person that has a lot of things to boast about and many accomplishments, but he is not the one who will tell you about them.  He works so hard.  Not to show off but for his personal drive.  He has worked so hard and after 3 years of working full time and taking MBA evening classes, he is about to graduate!  I am the one who has to brag on him! 

I feel it is the type of thing that it is better for people to bring up your accomplishments and be humble. Rather than trying to show off!  I admire this quality in people a lot.  It is so cool to know someone and like them and then have no idea what they do.  To like them for who they are and not what they do.  I always would prefer for someone to like me for the real me.  I never pretend to be someone I'm not.  I have a personal motto that, "I would rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not."

Obviously I would prefer to be liked.   "Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible." 1 Corinthians 9:19  I try to love like Jesus loves, to be his disciple.  I want to love one another as Jesus loves us.  "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another!" John 13:35 NIV

Andy Stanley brought up a great point the other day during part of his series "Christian," there is a tension when we want to love like Jesus.  We are often tempted to resolve the tension.  Don't walk away from the truth that we are sinners and accepting the grace to be loved by Jesus.  He brings up the story in the Bible where Jesus tells a crowd that whom ever has never sinned they can throw the first stone.  We have to live a life full of truth and grace. Jesus came to seek and save, he came for sinners.

The truth is we are sinners, and the grace is Jesus couldn't love us less!!  We must love others this way!

You can hear more messages from Andy Stanley by clicking here.

So grateful... I'm scared

I know I need to trust the Lord. I need to embrace the fact that whatever the circumstance, whatever the situation, every day, every year, for a lifetime because God loves you and Jesus wants to be your friend forever.  Our church, is part of the Northpoint ministries , teaches this and our mission is to lead people into a growing relationship with Jesus Christ.

I know he is my friend and he loves me forever.  I know this, I always have and always will.

But then the small voice in my ear, that evil voice whispers to me.  It doesn't seem loud but it is there...

"You're life is too good.  Bad things are about to happen."

So then I pray, "God you are so good.  I love you.  I am so grateful.  Everything I have is from you.  Everything that is good in my life, great in my life, every thing... I know it is a blessing from you AND I don't and never will take any of it for granted!!"

Gosh, it feels really good to write this down.  I confess to you that I know that voice is not mine and not Gods... It is empowering.  God never wants or wishes bad things on anyone.  If anything God knows a true believer will trust him and be grateful for the blessings in our life, no matter had small.

I feel so blessed: physically, emotionally, and personally.

Physically:  I am fit, I work out, I have lost 6 pounds.  I have recovered from a broken collar bone, too many sprained ankles, and breaking my nose... twice.

Emotionally: I am truly happy.  I love my job. I have healthy relationships in my life.  I have people that love me.  I feel satisfied with everything in my life.  I don't want for anything.

Personally:  I have the most amazing husband.  He is not perfect.  But he is definitely perfect for me!!!  I love waking up every day.  I know I can overcome any obstacle. I have been through a lot of things.  My life may not be the way I would have thought it would be... It is better.  My life is way better than anything I could have ever dreamed. I prayed for things and God answered the prayers he did because he knew how things would turn out.  He is always with me.  It is a very comfortable feeling.  A loving feeling knowing my Abba knows and has planned my life so that I may honor Him and give back to Him, living my life as a testimony of His will and grace.

So because of this I wake up everyday grateful.  I look at my husband, I am grateful. I look at my things, and know they are just things.  I love my family and friends, you guessed it... so grateful!!

So when I hear that voice whispering that bad things will happen, I'm going to say out loud... "God is with me, with Him I am safe and what ever comes along I will handle it and adapt." Because in all honestly I know from my life especially, His plan is the BEST plan!!