Part Two: Maintaining Your Pace

The Good Life Series
Gavin Adams
Watermarke Church
Watermarke Church: "The Good Life Series"

Links to previous FunLovingJen post
"The Good Life Series"- Part 1: Taking a Walk

Links to next FunLovingJen posts:
"The Good Life Series"- Part 3: Whatever You Do"
"The Good Life Series"- Part 4: On Purpose and for a Purpose

How many times do people say to themselves, "If I had what they had, I would be happy." The grass can seem greener when it isn't on your lawn! But, of course every relationship is tricky!!

There is always a journey in any relationship:
The journey starts
You take steps together
The new relationship is exciting
Trust forms over time
Then trust is tested

But in any relationship, if we stop we stagnate. You have to trust each other. If you trust each other you will travel together. All of our relationship problems with Jesus are on our end.

There are three types of relationships with Jesus:
1. Providential
2. Moral
3. Personal

Think about how the apostle Paul planted churches and his books in the Bible he was writing letters to the different churches.  During this time the Romans were immoral.

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship." (Romans 12:1 NIV)

Even how unloveable you are, because of God's mercy, God loves you anyway. We need to put God's will over yours, though. The way to honor God is by trusting him always.

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." (Romans 12:2 NIV)

Don't do what the world believes. The world believes this is as good as it gets, but is it? Take a journey with Jesus and allow him to transform the way you think. Renewal in you, through you by Jesus. See yourself how God sees you. You are worth sending Jesus to die for you so, you could have a direct relationship with God. God's providential will asks us to follow. But God's moral will asks us to trust him if we want to discover his plan for your life.

Where do you struggle to trust God?
Loving people that aren't like you?
Praying for your enemies?
Trusting God with your finances?
Coveting people other than your spouse?
Do you need to stop Gossiping?!?!

Our Lord & Savior pauses with you when you pause on your walk with Him. God says "I know why you are pausing, but my grace is enough to not let you fall but you have to trust me." The great news is God's good plan is better than our Good Life.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV)

Life would be easy if you trust God with your whole heart. The straight path doesn't equal an easy path but it makes the best path. The struggles in our lives certainly don't go away, but we are so close to Jesus we have peace and perseverance.

In conclusion, step into struggles with the moral will of God!

Part One: Taking a Walk

Taking a Walk

The Good Life Series
by: Gavin Adams
Watermarke Church
The Good Life Series, Watermarke Church

Next FunLovingJen posts:
"The Good Life Series"- Part 2: Maintaining Your Pace
"The Good Life Series"- Part 3: Whatever Your Do
"The Good Life Series" Part 4: On Purpose and for a Purpose

First, let's talk about God's Providential Will.

Jesus followers many times will pray, "God I just want to know where you want me to go," in regards to the direction to go with their life.

We think there is a Good God with a Good plan. When he won't tell us what the plan is it can sometimes erode our faith. Is God being distant? Is God not good at revealing the plan for your life?

We have to know deep in our hearts that God's personal plan for our lives is a unique plan meant especially for us. Importantly also, God's will is way bigger than ours.

God has 3 different types of will:
Providential Will- the directions your life will go in that God has decided for you without your permission

Part two of this series covers:
Moral Will- God wants us to live according to His word

Part three of this series covers:
Personal Will- what he will do in our lives

We have to remember that God's Grace is in all three and they are connected.

Then we think about Abraham. Many religions will agree, Abraham is the Father of Faith and just look at his life!

"The Lord had said to Abraham, “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you." (Genesis 12:1 NIV)

Maybe Abraham said, "Where?" God would have replied, "I'll show you. Don't worry. I'll show you." This would frustrate some people, to not know where God wanted us to go.

"So Abraham went, as the Lord had told him; and Lot went with him. Abraham was seventy-five years old when he set out from Harran. He took his wife Sarai, his nephew Lot, all the possessions they had accumulated and the people they had acquired in Harran, and they set out for the land of Canaan, and they arrived there." (Genesis 12:4-5 NIV)

When the Bible references the possessions someone had it meant someone had a Good Life. So Abraham was very well off. He stopped at many places including at the great tree of Moreh at Shechem.

"Abraham traveled through the land as far as the site of the great tree of Moreh at Shechem. At that time the Canaanites were in the land. The Lord appeared to Abram and said, “To your offspring I will give this land.” So he built an altar there to the Lord, who had appeared to him." (Genesis 12:6-7 NIV)

In those days, people created an alter as a reminder of God's provision with stones. It was a way of remembering that God showed up promised

Is there a reason for God to not tell people the plan for their lives?  Why doesn't God just tell them the plan to at least have clarity. That is what we want. Just knowing the plan is helpful.

Can't God just tell us, "Go toward the west." But, God is strategic. He is the definition of love, so why is He so vague? But there is a bigger question besides where or why...

Maybe God needed to just take a walk with Abraham.

What if God's personal plan begins with a Providential Walk? Where we don't know where we are going, we are just trusting God that He is with us.

Then we think about how Abraham's lineage leads to Jesus!!! But, before God could do something through Abraham, had to do something in Abraham. At every alter, at every step, His relationship with God grew.

God's personal direction always requires a personal connection and Sometimes we need to just take a walk with God.

Some people may be sitting with their arms crossed, looking at God waving to come to follow Him have their doubts.  A connection with God always precedes God revealing His direction for your life.

So the first part is to take a step towards God, to start to follow.  This is a starting point.

If you are not sure and have doubts, that is ok, pick up your doubts and take a step. Faith actually requires doubt. If we knew everything we wouldn't have faith. So doubts are ok, because we are not going to have all the answers.

The next steps is to trust God. Try to have less things around you that may distract you from your relationship with God.
For every obstacle we need to step over each obstacle. Are you scared? That is ok. Do you have curiosity? You must figure it out your obstacles or they will hinder you. Stepping is walking, and walking is growing.

Just remember: Life lived in the centered of God's plan is the best plan!

Who do you say God is?

Sometimes images of God can be skewed from how he really is.  Throughout the Bible everyone has things to say about who "God is". I wanted to share with you some verses I found that describe God. After reading them, who do you say God is?
God is my strong fortress, and he makes my way perfect. (2 Samuel 22:33 NLT)

For God is so wise and so mighty. Who has ever challenged him successfully? (Job 9:4 NLT)

God is my shield, saving those whose hearts are true and right. (Psalms 7:10 NLT)

God is an honest judge. He is angry with the wicked every day. (Psalms 7:11 NLT)

God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. (Psalms 46:1 NLT)

But the Lord is my fortress; my God is the mighty rock where I hide. (Psalms 94:22 NLT)

Trust in the Lord always, for the Lord God is the eternal Rock. (Isaiah 26:4 NLT)

But the Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him. (Daniel 9:9 NLT)

For God is Spirit, so those who worship him must worship in spirit and in truth.” (John 4:24 NLT)

He was fully convinced that God is able to do whatever he promises. (Romans 4:21 NLT)

But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, (Ephesians 2:4 NLT)

Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and he knows everything. (1 John 3:20 NLT)

But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. (1 John 4:8 NLT)

For God is pleased with you when you do what you know is right and patiently endure unfair treatment. (1 Peter 2:19 NLT)

The eternal God is your refuge, and his everlasting arms are under you. He drives out the enemy before you; he cries out, ‘Destroy them!’ (Deuteronomy 33:27 NLT)

God is awesome in his sanctuary. The God of Israel gives power and strength to his people. Praise be to God! (Psalms 68:35 NLT)

And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. (James 1:13 NLT)

God is not a man, so he does not lie. He is not human, so he does not change his mind. Has he ever spoken and failed to act? Has he ever promised and not carried it through? (Numbers 23:19 NLT)

my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety. He is my refuge, my savior, the one who saves me from violence. (2 Samuel 22:3 NLT)

The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety. (Psalms 18:2 NLT)

For the Lord God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right. (Psalms 84:11 NLT)

Notice how God is both kind and severe. He is severe toward those who disobeyed, but kind to you if you continue to trust in his kindness. But if you stop trusting, you also will be cut off. (Romans 11:22 NLT)

Feel free to comment below how you think of God!

Marriage Tip #4: Go out Together

The best thing in our marriage and relationship is the fact that we still have maintained the important friendships that we had before we got married.  It is kind of sad to me when people start dating someone and then they disappear.  Then if the relationship doesn't work out they show back up and tell you how much they have missed you.  You think to yourself, "I've been here... where were you?"

I never wanted and never have done this.  I am a social person and am grateful my husband and I have the same friends and enjoy spending time doing the same things.  I think one thing that helps a marriage is if you have the same interest and views.  You spend so much time together it is nice when you like doing the same things.


Definitely have a date night once a week.  Then do a special date night every once in a while.  This weekend we want to do something fun and different.  We might go on a dinner train ride through Chattanooga. Or maybe go to the comedy club.  We love comedy clubs.  Anything to laugh is always fun.  There are so many things you can do to change up the date night, get creative.  You also don't need to spend a lot of money.  You can make a gourmet dinner, try something out of a cookbook. But when it comes down to it, just make time to be together, alone.

Marriage Tip # 3: What am I?

You spend years developing your __________.

Your __________ determines how you will react to difficult situations.

People will or will not respect you based on your __________.

Good ________ will help your marriage by building trust.

__________ is founded upon the idea of who you are when no one is looking.

___________ is ultimately between you and God.

A lot of things make up great ___________: high morals, dependability, honesty, keeping your word, respect for others and yourself, reverence for God.

Tender hearted love, sacrificial love, and tough love are part of good __________.

Finish what you started, there is no room for quiting if you are working on your __________.

People with strong ___________ continue to do the right thing when the wrong thing may be easier and no one would know either way.

Watch your thoughts, they become your words.  Watch your words, they become your actiones. Watch your actions, they become your habits. Watch your habits, they become your CHARACTER.

Marriage Tip #1 “Be a Team”

In honor of Valentine’s Day, I am going to start a series of blog post on Marriage Tips.  Kyle and I have been married about 2 and a half years and I feel in my heart that we couldn’t be happier.  We have settled into our marriage and I thought I would share some things I think have really helped us get off to the right start.

To kick off the series I wanted to write about something I think is so important in our marriage.  We do everything with a team mentality.  We work together to accomplish our goals.  We help each other.  We are not afraid to roll up our sleeves to help the other person.

For example, we clean the house together.  We split up the things that need to be done and we do them separately to get the whole house done.  We do dishes together, laundry, we make dinner together, we shop together, and we work out together.  You probably realize that I am so lucky to have a husband who helps out around the house, and I realize this too.  I know how rare and special my husband is!!

Of course, there are times when we do things separately and just help the other person out if they are doing something else.  But that is kind of the point, we work together to get things done.  I feel like doing things this way relieves the other person of the entire burden and foster a healthy marriage where both people value the other ones time.

So marriage tip one is help each other out and be a team working together to accomplish your goals.  Helping each other out equals love, selflessly putting the other person ahead of you.

Show Love through your actions: Acts of Service

Consistency

Our married small group is doing a study on the book “Who You are When no One is Looking” by Bill Hybels.  We just started it but I definitely recommend it! The book is discussing character and one of the virtues is discipline.  We were talking about other parts to character and we mentioned consistency.  Discipline and consistency go hand in hand.  It is really hard sometimes to be discipline with consistency.

For example, I am trying to go to the gym 6 days a week and waking up and finding the motivation to go when I am tired and sore has been a challenge.  I feel like just getting to the gym is more than half the battle.  Once you get there things get easier because the atmosphere is encouraging because you see everyone else working out.

If I didn’t go to the gym and just tried to work out at my house I think I would be even less motivated to work out. Getting enough sleep is also really important.  My body definitely needs more rest since I am working out more.  I also have been really hungry since I am burning more calories and need more fuel.

Kyle has been really helpful by being supportive of my new routine. Sometimes you need a little push to be discipline and having an accountability partner helps.  I definitely recommend reaching out to someone who you trust to be able to speak into your life when you are trying to be more consistent and discipline in an area of your life.

So whatever your New Year’s resolution is, I would just encourage you to keep with it.  It gets easier with consistency and discipline

Good Enough

I have been training for a race called the Tough Mudder and have been going to the gym before work. I feel like I am in good shape but I don’t think I am in good enough shape yet for the race. What I have realize about the gym, finances and every other area of your life is: you will never be as good as you want to be or where you strive to be.  At the gym there is probably always going to be someone who is in better shape than you or better at something than you are.  In life, there is always going to be someone with more money than you or more stuff than you or a better job than you.

You may never feel like you can measure up to expectations.

So what does this mean?  Should we get down or depressed or discouraged?

Heck no! You can live the best possible life and be grateful for the things you do have.

Be Inspired.
Dream BiG.
Strive for Excellence.
Be determined to be better than you were before.
Don’t give up and work towards your goals with vigor.
Help someone in need.
Volunteer to make a difference in the community and people around you.
Be the kind of friend you would want.
Have personal respect and take responsibility in your actions.
Be the bigger person and forgive.
Be wise with your money and give to charity.
Take care of your body as it is a temple.
Appreciate your blessings and give thanks to God.
And most importantly enjoy life and loved ones along the way.

One of my personal mottos is also from our Declaration of Independence, “You have the right to pursue Happiness.”  Life is a journey and you will never be “there”. So enjoy the moment and the things you accomplish along the way.

New Year and New Beginnings

At the beginning of every year I go into reflection and prayer about the things I did the last year and the things I want to accomplish the next year.  I think about the things that I did well and the things I can improve on in the coming year.

This year Kyle and I really worked on our marriage and perfecting "the magic", also known as communication.  Good communication has been something we really strive for all the time.  We resolve the little issues so they don't build up into bigger conflicts.  We also just show everyday that we love and respect each other. We work as a family to get things done around the house and just try to be really considerate of the other person.

One thing I am really glad we started doing this year was volunteering at our church's middle school ministry.  Transit at Watermarke Church has been such a blessing to me and Kyle.  We both each lead a middle school small group during the Sunday service that includes worship and a message then we break into our small groups.  From donuts, to fun worship music, to relevant messages for their lives it all helps create an inviting environment that the youth really look forward to every Sunday.

Of course there are things we can work on like saving money, being more neat around the house, getting to bed earlier, and exercising more.  I really try to live a life I can be proud of and leave a legacy of someone who made this world better.  I want to make a difference in the lives of people around me.  I want to give more than I take and be a loyal friend.  If you know me hopefully you can say this is true.

Proverbs 31 Woman

Proverbs 31 women

Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.    She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.    She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.    She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.    She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.    She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.    She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.    “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”    Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the  Lord  is to be praised.    Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. (Proverbs 31:11, 12, 17, 20, 25-27, 29-31 NIV)

Proverbs 31 does a great job showing how a woman can live a life that honors God and her husband.  She works hard and does her best to be prepared for any situation that comes along.  By working on preparing a household in advance when something does happen she will be ready.  She is willing to help the poor because she has already taken care of her own family.  First we have to take care of our own lives then we can help others.

I believe it is also the same with raising a family.  We don't have children yet but I can imagine, the best thing you can do for your children is to have a healthy marriage.  You have to invest in your spouse and in your relationship with the Lord.  When you are full and satisfied you are able to pour into other people.  When you have a good marriage your children will benefit.  Keeping God in the center of your marriage is also so important.

Lately, Kyle and I have become so much closer because we have been praying together more often.  When something comes up that we would normally stress over, we look at each other and ask God for strength and wisdom.  I constantly pray for wisdom and then strength to do what I know needs to be done.  Patience is something that I constantly need.  I always try to be really kind and it is not easy when someone is hard to love.  It is important in these situations to respond and not react.  Being a Proverbs 31 woman is something you have to work on every day.

Building Community

I am really happy how Kyle and I are getting involved with the church in our local community.  We have been leading a married small group and already we have gotten so close to the couples in our group.  We have invested in our small group by not only meeting once a week but doing get-togethers outside of group.  Authentic friendships are formed by doing life together and we are all there for the same reason: to become friends with like minded people.

Some of my best friends have been people that have been in my small group.  It is really cool to be the leader and able to bring people together and facilitate the group growing together.  If you are not already involved in a small group, whether it is a married, singles or men's or women's group, I would strongly encourage you to look into it.

Another thing we have been doing is leading a Transit small group.  If you are not familiar with Tranist it is our church's middle school program.  They meet when adults are in "Big Church" and they have a similar schedule.  First when they arrive before it starts they have fellowship complete with donuts!!  Then once it is time to get started they have an icebreaker or game, then they listen to worship music, then they have a message tailored to their specific stage of life, then we break into small groups.  This is where we come in, as small group leaders we have the privilege to each lead a group of boys and girls.

The middle schoolers are so excited to be there and are eager to hear God's message in a relevant way that they can relate.  Then to be around adults and high school co-leaders that care about them and want to build relationships with them, they think that is pretty cool too!  They get to hang out with kids just like them from different schools as well.  It is so much fun leading these middle schoolers and it is neat to see the things they deal with were issues I faced growing up as well.  I think leaders get just as much or more out of leading the groups as the kids do.

I am just really happy with the direction our lives are going and being apart of such great communities and having such healthy relationships.  It definitely helps our marriage and brings us closer together too.  Any time you can spend time together serving common interest is always a plus! 

How do you serve and give back to your community?!

Perfection

Per-fec-tion:
1. the quality or state of being perfect: as
a: freedom from fault or defect: flawlessness...
2. a: exemplification of supreme excellence
b: an unsurpassable degree of accuracy or excellence
3: the act or process of perfecting

It's in the dictionary, but in the Biblical sense I don't think it is even possible.  It doesn't stop people from labeling various things as having perfection.  The first thing that comes to mind is Kelly Osborn on Fashion Police.  Any Joan Ranger would know when an outfit looks amazing Kelly is the very first person to call it Perfection.  I even like the way she says it and she is usually spot on with her favorite pick.

Needless to say, most people strive for Perfection.  But, realistically speaking we will always fall short.  If this is consistently our goal, it is possible to be unsatisfied and unfulfilled if you are not careful.  When we will fall short, we could have the feeling that we can never measure up or achieve our goal.  Though, it shouldn't stop us from striving for Perfection. 

My Senior Quote in our yearbook was, "Shoot for the Moon and you are sure to land among the Stars."  This quote reminds me, that while true Perfection is impossible, if you aim for it then you will and should be proud of your results.  This is the reason people tell me all the time how detail oriented I am.  I work hard and pour over the details.  If I can check and double check things to look for accuracy then I may be close to getting things just right.  It may turn out that I fall short but if I am truly honest with myself and the effort, then I can sure be proud of my results.  I also really enjoy being efficient.  "Work smarter, not harder."  I use that as my personal motto as well.

But when we fall short, The Trick is to accept the Grace of God that we can never become perfect.  Jesus was the only one who anyone can ever say was perfect.  He lived a completely blameless life.  Thus when he was sacrificed, it paid the price so we could have a personal relationship with our Lord and Savior. So give yourself a break.  Do your best and you will never have any regrets.  I truly believe that and this is why I work so hard.  I try to take pleasure in the small things and joys I come across.  I accept the Grace of God and live a life I can be proud of because I always give it my all.

The Beginning of the Second New Year

It may sound silly but many people consider THIS time of year to be the second beginning of the year.  You guessed it, school starting and fresh starts.  The Church does a big push for people to volunteer and people to join community groups, and flat out get involved.  You can look at the different ways to get involved at  Buckhead Church click here.  There are tons of other things you can do through all of the Northpoint Ministries.  They have Next which is learning more about Christianity and community service projects through intersect.  They also do a global outreach for mission trips through their global X program.  For my Watermarke friends the link is here.

The point is every year when people start back at school and they start back at other events, programs, and hopefully Church.  The summer is a time for vacation and fun in the sun!  The weather is nice and who would blame you?!  You can go to the pool, the lake, the beach and so many other fun things to be around water or outside!!  I love being around water and being in nature.  I feel so much at peace and just being able to relax is always nice!  I love spending time with my friends and there is a ton to do in the summer. 

Think about the difference in the Summer Olympics and the Winter Olympics.  It seems like most of the sporting events are in the Summer Olympics.  There is so much to watch it can seem over whelming.  But who doesn't like the Olympics?!  It seems like it always goes by so fast!!  I can't believe it is already over.  Think about how long the athletes train and all the hard work they put into getting ready for the biggest competition of their lives.  If it was me I would just want to do my best and not have any regrets.  I would want to think that there was nothing else I could have given to my endeavor.  I feel so bad for the athletes that fall or make some kind of stupid mistake that they will regret forever.  How many times do they perform the same routine or drill and almost never fall or trip?  Then when it really counts and millions of people are watching they mess up.  That would be the worst.

So with everything that we do and all the things we are starting for the first time in this new season, do your best.  Don't have any regrets, wondering what else you could have done to give your all.  Practice makes perfect, so always persevere!  If you have a challenge face it head on and don't look back!  There is only the present so focus on what you can do today to conquer your obstacles.  Dream Big and think about ways you can always improve yourself. 

What my Church Community Groups have Meant to Me

As a member of the Northpoint Ministries I can tell you first hand how important and influencial my Community Groups I have been in have been to me! When I first joined Buckhead church I got involved in a Community Group right away.  It was so great to meet people who were interested in growing together and developing relationships centered around the body of Christ.  Community Groups are intentional relationships and are a great way to surround yourself with people who have a common interest in the Lord.

Before joining the Community Group, I had just gotten back from college and the only people I hung out with were people that didn't share my faith.  I was not growing spiritually through these relationships and it was a change from my college experience when I had believers that were holding me accountable.  The leader in my first small group quickly became one of my best friends and it was so great to have someone in my life who was genuinely interested in my spiritual walk and committed to being there for me as I became closer to the Lord.  The other girls in the group were also pivotal as I decided to take the next step in my faith.  On September 28, 2008 I was baptized and it was such a powerful experience to declare publicly that Jesus Christ was my Lord and Savior.  (The video on the BIG screen wasn't as scary as I first thought it would be.)

The group multiplied and the next two groups were just as influential and I also expanded my group of friends that I walked with in my spiritual journey.  The girls I met and did life with all became some of my best friends and it is amazing how God uses these relationships to bring people together for his glory.  The groups helped me become a better person and in addition to Andy's messages I became the Christian woman I was designed to be.  I became prepared for marriage and invested in my relationship with myself and also with the Lord.  Becoming complete and satisfied with these relationships, I didn't need to rely on a man to fill that void.

On August 21, 2010 I married the man of my dreams and because of these groups I was ready to be united and continue to grow together with Christ in the center of our marriage.  The best thing we did for our marriage was joining a "Just Married" small group.  This unique group is designed for, you guessed it, couples that have been recently married.  With a mentor couple that has been married for more than 10 years they were able to lead us together as a couple closer to the Lord.  After that group multiplied about a year and a half of being together we joined a second married small group.

These married small groups have been pivotal in the transition from being single and then being married.  They have blessed us with new friends that are in the same stage of life and that has been so great since life is so different now than when we were single/dating.  When you get married your goals and heart move to a different place.  So as a new Group Link is coming up to join small group I would really encourage you to consider taking the next step and joining a small group.  This as an investment in your walk with Christ and the value is remarkable.  You can learn more about Group Link here.

I choose you, EVERY time!

In August, it will be two years of being married to Kyle.  It has really flown by.  I love him more every day!!  We just really have fun together.  He is the most amazing Christian leader and someone worth following.  I would follow him anywhere and everywhere. I trust and respect him completely.  In return, he loves me completely, as I like to notice, how Christ loves us.  This is the key to our marriage and I believe any healthy marriage.  In marriage it seems you either grow together or unfortunately, you grow apart.  Growing together is what we will constantly strive for throughout our marriage.  It takes joyful work, patience, and tons of grace!  Sometime you have to, consciously, choose to love your spouse.

I really don’t know how I could ever live without him.  He is my everything. I tell him almost every day, “You know, if I had to pick one thing to have in this world… I choose you, EVERY time!!”  I also tell him that he is “my favorite, anything.”  He is my best friend, and the love of my life.  It is kind of funny to think about but, when I was single, I never really could imagine or expected to ever find someone like him or think about loving someone so much.  He is kind of easy to get along with which helps.  We were also older when we started dating so we were mature.  You have to be satisfied in your relationship with yourself and the Lord or there will be a void in your heart. Then, you try to fill that void with someone else.    

To quote part of my favorite poem by St. Anthony of Padua, “Be Satisfied in Me” he wrote:

“Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone,
To have a deep soul relationship with another,
To be loved thoroughly and exclusively.
But God, to a Christian, says,
“No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content
With being loved by Me alone,
With giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me,
With having an intensely personal and unique relationship
With Me alone…”

When I was single, I had this poem taped behind my bedroom door and I read it almost every day.  It helped me focus on my relationship with myself and the Lord.  I really can’t stress that enough, how important it is to be a “complete person” before you are serious about adding that special person to your life.  My recommendation to those being patient in God’s plan for your life is to enjoy every season.  Then when you are ready and the person God has for you is ready, God will unite you together.  Timing is everything. 

Don't Give up on Me!!

"Don’t Give Up On Me"
Jason Aldean
I don’t to church enough
I curse out loud, I drink too much
I’m more of a sinner than a saint
Got a dusty Bible on my shelf
I just pick it up when I need help
Lord know there’s a lot I need to change
And I want to, baby, you make me want to
You tie the knot
When I’m at the end of my rope
You never stop believin’ in me
When I don’t know who I am
Or what I’m supposed to be
I don’t give you no good reason
But baby, don’t give up on me...

Some times people need to know that someone believes in them. If you feel like there is not anyone who believes in you, know this... God never stops believing in you! God will always give you a second chance when you don't think anyone else will. God wants to be there for you all the time not just when you need help. Pray to God when you are thankful not just when you want something. The more in tune with God you become the more his will for your life will be clear.

Jason Aldeans song "Don't Give up on Me" starts out telling a very familiar story. Someone feeling like they are not good enough or can't measure up.  But let's be honest, this is all of us.  We can strive to be perfect but we will never be that way so we need to accept God's grace and forgiveness! 

In the song I feel like the "Baby" could be replaced with "Lord."  When he says, "You tie the knot, when I'm at the end of my rope" I believe this is how the Lord Loves us.  He is there for us when we have nothing else or anyone else.  The Lord doesn't let us slip away... ever.  All we have to do is reach out and grab on to the rope of salvation.

You. Just. Got. Served.

This one little phrase seems to have a pretty negative connotation lately.  It is the idea that you really slammed or put someone down.  It can seem funny if someone is joking around, but other times it may really be painful if it is a little to close to the heart. How many times a day do we hear about people that have a negative impact with their words cutting deep?

What if people thought of "serving" in a more positive way?!?!  One thing I love most in this world is giving back to my community in time and money.  Serving for me is a part of who I am and something I am really committed to doing with my free time.  I feel like I can really feel the heart beat of the church through the different areas I have assisted.

When I first served at Buckhead church it was in Wamba Land, the pre-elementary school ministry.  Here I saw first hand how the church starts to show God's love to children and teaches them how "God loves them and wants to be their friend forever."  I think it is awesome how the church simplifies the message so even a three year old can connect and understand the basic idea of Christianity.

Then I moved to volunteering in a Fusion group, the old version of Single's Gathering.  After that I started to co-lead my own Fusion groups.  It is amazing to see how God uses the get-together to make authentic friendships and then see how the relationships develop.  Dating relationships are not the goal but when God blesses a relationship that honors him, only good things come from it.  The Singles Ministry at the Northpoint Ministries has an incredible way of bringing like minded people together to honor God through friendships.

One of the coolest groups I led was the DoJustice Atlanta wide community service event.  For one day groups of singles come together and each group of about 15-20 people complete one project through hard work and dedication.  It may seem like one group may not make that big of a difference, and maybe if it was just one group it wouldn't.  But the Northpoint Ministries is a huge organization and never does something half way.  So imagine 100 groups of 20... 2,000 people serving in a day.  That kind of man power can really make a difference in the community.  One united front.  It is kind of like a Christian Army for good.  Serving people throughout the Atlanta area building relationships with your team and making a real difference.  I feel like the whole city gets a face-lift bringing a light to otherwise dark parts of this town.  By serving others we realize what makes us great... the will to put other people before us is humbling, making the Lord first.

Now I am married, and my husband and I are serving in Transit, the middle school ministry.  Middle school is a rough awkward age for so many young people.  Kids are growing, changing, and learning independence everyday.  They struggle with trying to fit in and sometimes give into peer pressure.  The goal with serving these young people is to empower them to believe in themselves and grow into young adults who truly know and love the Lord.  If we invest in them they will realize they are valuable and become confident that they can be true to themselves while maintaining their relationship with their parents and the Lord.

I believe in the power of three.  Three good influencers can make all the difference.  A parent, a teacher, and a third person supporting them.  A lot of times there will be a coach, a friend's parent or maybe a youth group leader.  In our case we are small group leaders to these girls and boys (I have a girls' small group and my husband has a boys' small group).  Just to think that we are serving these youth in the most impressionable time in their lives is already so rewarding.  It is so cool to see them open up while being authentic and real.  It's pretty cool to be able to relate to them.  The difficult things I had to deal with are still relevant issues that they go through today.

So next time you think about putting someone down, think about the difference you could make by serving them instead.  Bringing other people up by being a friend to them and putting them before yourself.  Then imagine what a group of people can accomplish if they work together to change the town for the better.

Be True to Yourself

I may not be some things but I always strive to be myself and be true to my beliefs!!  I want to be known for loving myself for who I am and never trying to be something I'm not.  Having a solid relationship with yourself and your Heavenly Father are two of the most important things we can do.  Besides feeling accepted by our peers it is essential to accept yourself, to love your imperfections and realize you are only human.  Some people try to hold themselves to impossible standards and in that case are never happy or satisfied.  I'm can't imagine worrying all the time about being perfect, which is not humanly possible.

Jesus came and died for our sins so that we may have a relationship with Jesus Christ.  Since we are not perfect we could never be right in God's eyes unless we have the grace of Jesus.  His blood made the relationship possible because he paid the price so we can have a atonement for our sins. 

God made us just the way he wanted us.  Who are we to say that we are not good enough?  God doesn't make mistakes.  When Jesus is the one strengthening us what can stop us.  I love leaning into the Almighty and knowing he is rooting for me and that he is on my side, cheering me on the whole time.  He is desperate to have a relationship with us and just loves us unconditionally. 

The Northpoint Ministries is doing a series called "Climate Change" and the big take aways is that: Acceptance is the cure for insecurity.  Our views of ourselves improves when we learn to see ourselves the way God sees us.  We are already accepted by God and that is enough.  His love is complete.  If we don't learn to accept ourselves then our insecurities will follow us through life and we will not be satisfied.  Learn to love yourself, accept, and try to see you as God sees you.  He is proud of you!!

You can watch the full message here.

Enjoy being single

I am a big proponent that it is better to be single than with the wrong person.  How much time can you “waste” if you know in your heart the relationship is not going anywhere?  There are four seasons in the year but there is no telling how many seasons you will have in your personal life.  Another way of saying this is, you will go through many different periods in your life: from growing up, to dating, single, back to dating, back to single, then possibly marriage.  In every season of your life enjoy the moment!!  I cannot stress this enough.

 In your ministry you can do more as a single person. You will have more time to serve his Kingdom, because when you are married your ministry is to your spouse and family.  There are limitations like coordinating schedules etc.  When you are single you can pick up and head overseas to serve internationally, for example.  The most important thing you can do to honor God in marriage is to love your spouse as God loves the church.  Keeping God in the center of a marriage is imperative to keeping a healthy marriage.  If you love someone you will never do anything to intentionally hurt that person.

God never promises you will be married. As much of a desire it may be in your heart, it may not be part of your story.  If it is then it will happen on God’s timing.  You really cannot force love or a great relationship. There is either the connection that is mutual that will lead to marriage or there are not those feelings.  I dated quite a few people before I found the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with growing old together.  I happen to realize the man of my dreams was right in front of me the whole time, but it may not happen that way for you.  There is not a cookie cut away a relationship will develop and every person is different.  I never blamed one person for what the last person did.  Always keep an open mind, until they show you otherwise.

I will say I had never dated a friend, until my husband, and I would recommend it with extreme caution.  It is a tricky situation because the first thing I wanted to do was preserve our friendship.  Love developed.  Again, it was a natural progression.  Feelings became love through a purposeful dating relationship.  Timing is always everything.  You may be madly in love with someone but they may not be ready to date or be in a relationship.  At the same time I don’t recommend putting your life on hold if they expressly deny feelings for you. 

So the moral that I hope you get from this is: be content, enjoy the moment, trust the Lord that he has your best interest at heart, and stay positive!!

Humility, Truth, and Grace

One of the things I love most in people is a humble spirit.  There is nothing that can replace someone who is not proud or boastful.  This is actually one of the main reasons I feel in love with my husband.  He is the most humble person I know.  He is the type of person that has a lot of things to boast about and many accomplishments, but he is not the one who will tell you about them.  He works so hard.  Not to show off but for his personal drive.  He has worked so hard and after 3 years of working full time and taking MBA evening classes, he is about to graduate!  I am the one who has to brag on him! 

I feel it is the type of thing that it is better for people to bring up your accomplishments and be humble. Rather than trying to show off!  I admire this quality in people a lot.  It is so cool to know someone and like them and then have no idea what they do.  To like them for who they are and not what they do.  I always would prefer for someone to like me for the real me.  I never pretend to be someone I'm not.  I have a personal motto that, "I would rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not."

Obviously I would prefer to be liked.   "Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible." 1 Corinthians 9:19  I try to love like Jesus loves, to be his disciple.  I want to love one another as Jesus loves us.  "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another!" John 13:35 NIV

Andy Stanley brought up a great point the other day during part of his series "Christian," there is a tension when we want to love like Jesus.  We are often tempted to resolve the tension.  Don't walk away from the truth that we are sinners and accepting the grace to be loved by Jesus.  He brings up the story in the Bible where Jesus tells a crowd that whom ever has never sinned they can throw the first stone.  We have to live a life full of truth and grace. Jesus came to seek and save, he came for sinners.

The truth is we are sinners, and the grace is Jesus couldn't love us less!!  We must love others this way!

You can hear more messages from Andy Stanley by clicking here.