Our Identity

 

Photo Credit: Bazemore Photography

What is in a title? Most people, myself included, place a lot of importance on who we are and our identities by our titles. But what is in a title? I have been thinking about this and trying to figure out how I feel about my titles.  Originally, it came up because I was not able to volunteer in two different capacities within the last 6 months.  I missed the activities and they both meant a lot to me… I placed value in these titles.  I liked being associated with these volunteer opportunities.

But then I lost those titles. I was sad about losing them because I really enjoyed volunteering in these separate roles.

Then more recently I started to think about titles more in-depth. I realized all the titles we have are essentially temporary. I realized that during our lifetime, potentially all our titles will be lost.  It a sobering thought and morbid at the same time.  That realization did not feel too good.

Then. God.

There have only been a handful of times I truly felt the Holy Spirit nudge my heart in a very simple and specific, yet profound way at three major crossroads in my life.  The Holy Spirit in these moments changed my outlook and course of major decisions. 

Here are the three major moments from the last 11 years, in this order:

Photo Credit: Bazemore Photography

When I realized I wanted to date my now husband, Kyle.  We had been friends for 1.5 years at the time and were very close friends through our church community- the Buckhead Church, part of North Point Ministries. I had dated other people and none of the relationships had worked out.  I was discouraged and was starting to doubt if I would find someone whom I could share my life. Then God. It was a simple nudge of insight from the Holy Spirit, “Kyle would be perfect for you.” It was profound and I remember thinking back to that nudge, “He is!”

Photo Credit: Bazemore Photography

The second time was about a year and a half after our son, James, was born.  If you look at my previous blog post about my health struggles, it was clearly a very hard season for me and my whole family. At this time, things were looking up and Kyle and I started going back and forth thinking maybe we should consider having another child.  Boy, was that a hard season. We have so much love to give but the cons greatly outweighed the benefit of me personally having more children. Then. God. The Holy Spirit then gave me a nudge of comfort, “One is enough.”  It was the comfort I needed and the confirmation we were looking for at the time.  I tear up just thinking about that time because it was that emotional.

Jen & Kyle Behnke with their first three tractors

The third time the Holy Spirit nudged me was when we were at another major crossroad. We were thinking about starting a trucking company. Let’s just say deciding for both of us to quit our good paying jobs, put all of our livelihood on the line, with a one and a half year old, the same year my mom died, was a huge decision. Then. God. The Holy Spirit nudged my heart to take action, “The Lord can’t do big things in your life unless you put yourself out there. Just start with taking one step in faith.” So, we did take one step in faith at a time, then another, and then another.  Over 5 years, God has blessed us, United Federal Logistics Inc., to go from 3 tractors and 6 drivers, to now we have 23 tractors and over 45 people on staff. Our goal is still to be a trucking company people want to work for and provide a great opportunity for success for our staff.

Okay, back to last week and this new nudge from the Holy Spirit. I was thinking about the different titles I have and the sobering thought that they all at one point may be lost or change.  Maybe for the better, maybe not. Then the Holy Spirit gave me a nudge of comfort, “There is one title you will always have: Child of God and Daughter of God.” Wow talk about my mind blown.  I have heard these phrases many times. I have sung these words, read them in books and blogs, heard them from pastors or friends, but never like this.  It totally changed my whole outlook on my identity. Whatever title I have, lose, or will have, one title will remain, “Child of God, loved, forgiven, and redeemed through Jesus.”

This is also true for you!!!

“The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.” John 10:3-5 NIV

Stay safe and hug your loved ones.

Who do you say God is?

Sometimes images of God can be skewed from how he really is.  Throughout the Bible everyone has things to say about who "God is". I wanted to share with you some verses I found that describe God. After reading them, who do you say God is?
God is my strong fortress, and he makes my way perfect. (2 Samuel 22:33 NLT)

For God is so wise and so mighty. Who has ever challenged him successfully? (Job 9:4 NLT)

God is my shield, saving those whose hearts are true and right. (Psalms 7:10 NLT)

God is an honest judge. He is angry with the wicked every day. (Psalms 7:11 NLT)

God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. (Psalms 46:1 NLT)

But the Lord is my fortress; my God is the mighty rock where I hide. (Psalms 94:22 NLT)

Trust in the Lord always, for the Lord God is the eternal Rock. (Isaiah 26:4 NLT)

But the Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him. (Daniel 9:9 NLT)

For God is Spirit, so those who worship him must worship in spirit and in truth.” (John 4:24 NLT)

He was fully convinced that God is able to do whatever he promises. (Romans 4:21 NLT)

But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, (Ephesians 2:4 NLT)

Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and he knows everything. (1 John 3:20 NLT)

But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. (1 John 4:8 NLT)

For God is pleased with you when you do what you know is right and patiently endure unfair treatment. (1 Peter 2:19 NLT)

The eternal God is your refuge, and his everlasting arms are under you. He drives out the enemy before you; he cries out, ‘Destroy them!’ (Deuteronomy 33:27 NLT)

God is awesome in his sanctuary. The God of Israel gives power and strength to his people. Praise be to God! (Psalms 68:35 NLT)

And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. (James 1:13 NLT)

God is not a man, so he does not lie. He is not human, so he does not change his mind. Has he ever spoken and failed to act? Has he ever promised and not carried it through? (Numbers 23:19 NLT)

my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety. He is my refuge, my savior, the one who saves me from violence. (2 Samuel 22:3 NLT)

The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety. (Psalms 18:2 NLT)

For the Lord God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right. (Psalms 84:11 NLT)

Notice how God is both kind and severe. He is severe toward those who disobeyed, but kind to you if you continue to trust in his kindness. But if you stop trusting, you also will be cut off. (Romans 11:22 NLT)

Feel free to comment below how you think of God!

Marriage Tip #4: Go out Together

The best thing in our marriage and relationship is the fact that we still have maintained the important friendships that we had before we got married.  It is kind of sad to me when people start dating someone and then they disappear.  Then if the relationship doesn't work out they show back up and tell you how much they have missed you.  You think to yourself, "I've been here... where were you?"

I never wanted and never have done this.  I am a social person and am grateful my husband and I have the same friends and enjoy spending time doing the same things.  I think one thing that helps a marriage is if you have the same interest and views.  You spend so much time together it is nice when you like doing the same things.


Definitely have a date night once a week.  Then do a special date night every once in a while.  This weekend we want to do something fun and different.  We might go on a dinner train ride through Chattanooga. Or maybe go to the comedy club.  We love comedy clubs.  Anything to laugh is always fun.  There are so many things you can do to change up the date night, get creative.  You also don't need to spend a lot of money.  You can make a gourmet dinner, try something out of a cookbook. But when it comes down to it, just make time to be together, alone.

Marriage Tip # 3: What am I?

You spend years developing your __________.

Your __________ determines how you will react to difficult situations.

People will or will not respect you based on your __________.

Good ________ will help your marriage by building trust.

__________ is founded upon the idea of who you are when no one is looking.

___________ is ultimately between you and God.

A lot of things make up great ___________: high morals, dependability, honesty, keeping your word, respect for others and yourself, reverence for God.

Tender hearted love, sacrificial love, and tough love are part of good __________.

Finish what you started, there is no room for quiting if you are working on your __________.

People with strong ___________ continue to do the right thing when the wrong thing may be easier and no one would know either way.

Watch your thoughts, they become your words.  Watch your words, they become your actiones. Watch your actions, they become your habits. Watch your habits, they become your CHARACTER.

Marriage Tip #2: Don't ever give up

Marriage is a journey.  There are going to be times of great joy and happiness but there will probably be times of sorrow and difficulty.  Either way you cannot ever give up on each other and your marriage.  Both parties have to be willing to work on the marriage because marriage will never be a one way street.  Sometimes people do terrible things and trust and respect may go out the window.  But I believe if both people are willing to work together you can overcome any obstacle.  Forgiveness is the key to moving on and going forward.

When you think about it, if you are a Christian you should try to forgive people no matter what they did.  The main reason is because Christ forgives us of our daily trespasses.  We can never be “good enough” no matter how hard we try we will always fall short.  This is why grace is so important.  Grace makes up the gap between where we want to be and where we actually are.  Sometimes this can be a difficult concept and expectations definitely factor in here too.

One thing I always try to do is communicate expectations.  Your spouse is never going to be a mind reader and they can only know your desires if you express them clearly.  Communication is the magic.  I say this all the time.  You have to be in constant communication when things don’t go according to plan; you have to talk things through so you can move forward.  Being angry doesn’t help anyone if you can’t communicate the problem, so it is less likely to happen again.

At the very least it can give the spouse the opportunity to apologize.  Then we come back to forgiveness.  I try to be generous with the forgiveness so when I mess up, he will be more likely to forgive me quickly.  I also just try to make my husband happy, doing things to help him out and being part of activities he enjoys.  He does the same thing for me.

But marriage may not be easy all the time and you really do have to work on it daily.  Be in constant communication because communication is the magic.  There also has to be mutual Love & Respect.  There is a really good book I read that transformed the way I viewed marriage called “Love and Respect” by Dr. Emerson Eggrichs.  If you have not read it, I would definitely recommend it.

Consistency

Our married small group is doing a study on the book “Who You are When no One is Looking” by Bill Hybels.  We just started it but I definitely recommend it! The book is discussing character and one of the virtues is discipline.  We were talking about other parts to character and we mentioned consistency.  Discipline and consistency go hand in hand.  It is really hard sometimes to be discipline with consistency.

For example, I am trying to go to the gym 6 days a week and waking up and finding the motivation to go when I am tired and sore has been a challenge.  I feel like just getting to the gym is more than half the battle.  Once you get there things get easier because the atmosphere is encouraging because you see everyone else working out.

If I didn’t go to the gym and just tried to work out at my house I think I would be even less motivated to work out. Getting enough sleep is also really important.  My body definitely needs more rest since I am working out more.  I also have been really hungry since I am burning more calories and need more fuel.

Kyle has been really helpful by being supportive of my new routine. Sometimes you need a little push to be discipline and having an accountability partner helps.  I definitely recommend reaching out to someone who you trust to be able to speak into your life when you are trying to be more consistent and discipline in an area of your life.

So whatever your New Year’s resolution is, I would just encourage you to keep with it.  It gets easier with consistency and discipline

Good Enough

I have been training for a race called the Tough Mudder and have been going to the gym before work. I feel like I am in good shape but I don’t think I am in good enough shape yet for the race. What I have realize about the gym, finances and every other area of your life is: you will never be as good as you want to be or where you strive to be.  At the gym there is probably always going to be someone who is in better shape than you or better at something than you are.  In life, there is always going to be someone with more money than you or more stuff than you or a better job than you.

You may never feel like you can measure up to expectations.

So what does this mean?  Should we get down or depressed or discouraged?

Heck no! You can live the best possible life and be grateful for the things you do have.

Be Inspired.
Dream BiG.
Strive for Excellence.
Be determined to be better than you were before.
Don’t give up and work towards your goals with vigor.
Help someone in need.
Volunteer to make a difference in the community and people around you.
Be the kind of friend you would want.
Have personal respect and take responsibility in your actions.
Be the bigger person and forgive.
Be wise with your money and give to charity.
Take care of your body as it is a temple.
Appreciate your blessings and give thanks to God.
And most importantly enjoy life and loved ones along the way.

One of my personal mottos is also from our Declaration of Independence, “You have the right to pursue Happiness.”  Life is a journey and you will never be “there”. So enjoy the moment and the things you accomplish along the way.

Trust Me, Ye of Little Faith

Sometimes it's hard to find good relevant things to write about.  Luckily for me, I go to a church with an abundance of insightful, relevant, and meaningful messages.  This blog post is dedicated to those people who are so busy trying to be everywhere with everyone they may be missing out on things that are really important.  They are probably even too busy to read this post, so sorry if I am just preaching to the choir.

Andy Stanley is the lead pastor and founder of the second largest church, a group of churches under the Northpoint Ministry Community Church. He has said in the past when you are asked to do something and you really need to be spending time on something that has everlasting importance, just tell them "You are doing a Great Work and you can't come."  That has stuck with me.  Which leads to his current series entitled, "Breathing Room."  For the full message go to the church website here: http://www.northpoint.org/   

God says to us, I want to provide for you but I want you to trust me first. Our Heavenly Father knows what you need before you even ask for it. What if, you really believed that your heavenly father knew your limits?  Then, he made it possible for you to suffice on less than what you think you need, but just enough of what you actually need?

The problem with our culture's current mentality is: we try to do everything, with everyone, all the time and we get maxed out.  For example, you have time and money limits. So, don't let this culture or fear drive you to try to do too much. You will not enjoy life because you will be stressing because you don’t have any margin.

People try to do too much because of fear...

The Fear of Missing out
The Fear of Not Mattering
The Fear of Not Making a Difference

God warns us to have margin in our lives.  Don't waste all your time on meaningless stuff because you are afraid.  Be unafraid to make certain people and certain events a priority and cut out the things that you can do without.  Do less but be more focused and purposeful.  My personal motto has been for about the last year, "Work Smarter, Not Harder."  Maybe it is because my husband works for UPS or maybe because with my busy job I have learned to be really efficient and wise with my time and how I use it.

So God's people asked, 'If we don't do all the work we can do, you will multiply the work we did do?'  It's the curious idea of leaving something on the table.  “So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:31, 33 NIV)

The funny thing about not having enough time for something is: when things fall apart, you mysteriously find the hours to try to fix what is now broken. For example, you can spend time “saving your marriage” after you get so busy and neglect it doing things that don't matter. Or you can spend time on the front end investing in your marriage by putting your spouse and children first. I know what I am going to do. I know who I am going to make a priority in my life.  And, as always, I trust God because in the end I know that He knows what I need.

New Year and New Beginnings

At the beginning of every year I go into reflection and prayer about the things I did the last year and the things I want to accomplish the next year.  I think about the things that I did well and the things I can improve on in the coming year.

This year Kyle and I really worked on our marriage and perfecting "the magic", also known as communication.  Good communication has been something we really strive for all the time.  We resolve the little issues so they don't build up into bigger conflicts.  We also just show everyday that we love and respect each other. We work as a family to get things done around the house and just try to be really considerate of the other person.

One thing I am really glad we started doing this year was volunteering at our church's middle school ministry.  Transit at Watermarke Church has been such a blessing to me and Kyle.  We both each lead a middle school small group during the Sunday service that includes worship and a message then we break into our small groups.  From donuts, to fun worship music, to relevant messages for their lives it all helps create an inviting environment that the youth really look forward to every Sunday.

Of course there are things we can work on like saving money, being more neat around the house, getting to bed earlier, and exercising more.  I really try to live a life I can be proud of and leave a legacy of someone who made this world better.  I want to make a difference in the lives of people around me.  I want to give more than I take and be a loyal friend.  If you know me hopefully you can say this is true.

Proverbs 31 Woman

Proverbs 31 women

Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.    She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.    She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.    She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.    She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.    She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.    She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.    “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”    Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the  Lord  is to be praised.    Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. (Proverbs 31:11, 12, 17, 20, 25-27, 29-31 NIV)

Proverbs 31 does a great job showing how a woman can live a life that honors God and her husband.  She works hard and does her best to be prepared for any situation that comes along.  By working on preparing a household in advance when something does happen she will be ready.  She is willing to help the poor because she has already taken care of her own family.  First we have to take care of our own lives then we can help others.

I believe it is also the same with raising a family.  We don't have children yet but I can imagine, the best thing you can do for your children is to have a healthy marriage.  You have to invest in your spouse and in your relationship with the Lord.  When you are full and satisfied you are able to pour into other people.  When you have a good marriage your children will benefit.  Keeping God in the center of your marriage is also so important.

Lately, Kyle and I have become so much closer because we have been praying together more often.  When something comes up that we would normally stress over, we look at each other and ask God for strength and wisdom.  I constantly pray for wisdom and then strength to do what I know needs to be done.  Patience is something that I constantly need.  I always try to be really kind and it is not easy when someone is hard to love.  It is important in these situations to respond and not react.  Being a Proverbs 31 woman is something you have to work on every day.

Building Community

I am really happy how Kyle and I are getting involved with the church in our local community.  We have been leading a married small group and already we have gotten so close to the couples in our group.  We have invested in our small group by not only meeting once a week but doing get-togethers outside of group.  Authentic friendships are formed by doing life together and we are all there for the same reason: to become friends with like minded people.

Some of my best friends have been people that have been in my small group.  It is really cool to be the leader and able to bring people together and facilitate the group growing together.  If you are not already involved in a small group, whether it is a married, singles or men's or women's group, I would strongly encourage you to look into it.

Another thing we have been doing is leading a Transit small group.  If you are not familiar with Tranist it is our church's middle school program.  They meet when adults are in "Big Church" and they have a similar schedule.  First when they arrive before it starts they have fellowship complete with donuts!!  Then once it is time to get started they have an icebreaker or game, then they listen to worship music, then they have a message tailored to their specific stage of life, then we break into small groups.  This is where we come in, as small group leaders we have the privilege to each lead a group of boys and girls.

The middle schoolers are so excited to be there and are eager to hear God's message in a relevant way that they can relate.  Then to be around adults and high school co-leaders that care about them and want to build relationships with them, they think that is pretty cool too!  They get to hang out with kids just like them from different schools as well.  It is so much fun leading these middle schoolers and it is neat to see the things they deal with were issues I faced growing up as well.  I think leaders get just as much or more out of leading the groups as the kids do.

I am just really happy with the direction our lives are going and being apart of such great communities and having such healthy relationships.  It definitely helps our marriage and brings us closer together too.  Any time you can spend time together serving common interest is always a plus! 

How do you serve and give back to your community?!

I Knew You Were Trouble

I'm sure everyone has that one relationship that they knew from the very beginning was going to be trouble. Taylor Swift's new CD "Red", that is going to be released October 22, has a new song called, "I Knew You Were Trouble." This song reminds me of one guy in particular that I knew from the beginning wasn't good for me. We didn't have a lot of things in common but we both loved to play soccer.

He wasn't a Christian but at the time I remember thinking I would influence him and then he would learn to love God the way I did. Christians have a term for this. It is called Missionary Dating and I do NOT recommend it. The idea is God's light will shine through you and they will become a believer. God also discourages this and that is why he calls us to be with a man who can lead us closer to him. My life has always been on fire for God and he was throwing water, so to speak, on my relationship with my Heavenly Father.

There is a bright side to this story...

 Through this relationship, as with others I have been in, it taught me what I did and did not want in a man. It helped me see the type of man God desperately wanted for me. I had known my future-husband for over a year and a half and after that other relationship I saw him in a whole new way. I was able to appreciate him for the incredible man is was and continues to be every day. I fell in love with Kyle and now I know it was all meant to be.

Kyle is a strong Christian, he is compassionate, brilliant, and dashing. He is everything I always wanted. Like the other relationship I knew from the very beginning how it was going to be, except this time I knew it was also what God wanted for me!! I am so grateful that Kyle and I are together and give thanks to God every day for blessing both of us by bringing us together. Through our relationship we are able to give glory to God. Marriage is now our ministry, and together we will shine God's light.

Perfection

Per-fec-tion:
1. the quality or state of being perfect: as
a: freedom from fault or defect: flawlessness...
2. a: exemplification of supreme excellence
b: an unsurpassable degree of accuracy or excellence
3: the act or process of perfecting

It's in the dictionary, but in the Biblical sense I don't think it is even possible.  It doesn't stop people from labeling various things as having perfection.  The first thing that comes to mind is Kelly Osborn on Fashion Police.  Any Joan Ranger would know when an outfit looks amazing Kelly is the very first person to call it Perfection.  I even like the way she says it and she is usually spot on with her favorite pick.

Needless to say, most people strive for Perfection.  But, realistically speaking we will always fall short.  If this is consistently our goal, it is possible to be unsatisfied and unfulfilled if you are not careful.  When we will fall short, we could have the feeling that we can never measure up or achieve our goal.  Though, it shouldn't stop us from striving for Perfection. 

My Senior Quote in our yearbook was, "Shoot for the Moon and you are sure to land among the Stars."  This quote reminds me, that while true Perfection is impossible, if you aim for it then you will and should be proud of your results.  This is the reason people tell me all the time how detail oriented I am.  I work hard and pour over the details.  If I can check and double check things to look for accuracy then I may be close to getting things just right.  It may turn out that I fall short but if I am truly honest with myself and the effort, then I can sure be proud of my results.  I also really enjoy being efficient.  "Work smarter, not harder."  I use that as my personal motto as well.

But when we fall short, The Trick is to accept the Grace of God that we can never become perfect.  Jesus was the only one who anyone can ever say was perfect.  He lived a completely blameless life.  Thus when he was sacrificed, it paid the price so we could have a personal relationship with our Lord and Savior. So give yourself a break.  Do your best and you will never have any regrets.  I truly believe that and this is why I work so hard.  I try to take pleasure in the small things and joys I come across.  I accept the Grace of God and live a life I can be proud of because I always give it my all.

The Beginning of the Second New Year

It may sound silly but many people consider THIS time of year to be the second beginning of the year.  You guessed it, school starting and fresh starts.  The Church does a big push for people to volunteer and people to join community groups, and flat out get involved.  You can look at the different ways to get involved at  Buckhead Church click here.  There are tons of other things you can do through all of the Northpoint Ministries.  They have Next which is learning more about Christianity and community service projects through intersect.  They also do a global outreach for mission trips through their global X program.  For my Watermarke friends the link is here.

The point is every year when people start back at school and they start back at other events, programs, and hopefully Church.  The summer is a time for vacation and fun in the sun!  The weather is nice and who would blame you?!  You can go to the pool, the lake, the beach and so many other fun things to be around water or outside!!  I love being around water and being in nature.  I feel so much at peace and just being able to relax is always nice!  I love spending time with my friends and there is a ton to do in the summer. 

Think about the difference in the Summer Olympics and the Winter Olympics.  It seems like most of the sporting events are in the Summer Olympics.  There is so much to watch it can seem over whelming.  But who doesn't like the Olympics?!  It seems like it always goes by so fast!!  I can't believe it is already over.  Think about how long the athletes train and all the hard work they put into getting ready for the biggest competition of their lives.  If it was me I would just want to do my best and not have any regrets.  I would want to think that there was nothing else I could have given to my endeavor.  I feel so bad for the athletes that fall or make some kind of stupid mistake that they will regret forever.  How many times do they perform the same routine or drill and almost never fall or trip?  Then when it really counts and millions of people are watching they mess up.  That would be the worst.

So with everything that we do and all the things we are starting for the first time in this new season, do your best.  Don't have any regrets, wondering what else you could have done to give your all.  Practice makes perfect, so always persevere!  If you have a challenge face it head on and don't look back!  There is only the present so focus on what you can do today to conquer your obstacles.  Dream Big and think about ways you can always improve yourself. 

What my Church Community Groups have Meant to Me

As a member of the Northpoint Ministries I can tell you first hand how important and influencial my Community Groups I have been in have been to me! When I first joined Buckhead church I got involved in a Community Group right away.  It was so great to meet people who were interested in growing together and developing relationships centered around the body of Christ.  Community Groups are intentional relationships and are a great way to surround yourself with people who have a common interest in the Lord.

Before joining the Community Group, I had just gotten back from college and the only people I hung out with were people that didn't share my faith.  I was not growing spiritually through these relationships and it was a change from my college experience when I had believers that were holding me accountable.  The leader in my first small group quickly became one of my best friends and it was so great to have someone in my life who was genuinely interested in my spiritual walk and committed to being there for me as I became closer to the Lord.  The other girls in the group were also pivotal as I decided to take the next step in my faith.  On September 28, 2008 I was baptized and it was such a powerful experience to declare publicly that Jesus Christ was my Lord and Savior.  (The video on the BIG screen wasn't as scary as I first thought it would be.)

The group multiplied and the next two groups were just as influential and I also expanded my group of friends that I walked with in my spiritual journey.  The girls I met and did life with all became some of my best friends and it is amazing how God uses these relationships to bring people together for his glory.  The groups helped me become a better person and in addition to Andy's messages I became the Christian woman I was designed to be.  I became prepared for marriage and invested in my relationship with myself and also with the Lord.  Becoming complete and satisfied with these relationships, I didn't need to rely on a man to fill that void.

On August 21, 2010 I married the man of my dreams and because of these groups I was ready to be united and continue to grow together with Christ in the center of our marriage.  The best thing we did for our marriage was joining a "Just Married" small group.  This unique group is designed for, you guessed it, couples that have been recently married.  With a mentor couple that has been married for more than 10 years they were able to lead us together as a couple closer to the Lord.  After that group multiplied about a year and a half of being together we joined a second married small group.

These married small groups have been pivotal in the transition from being single and then being married.  They have blessed us with new friends that are in the same stage of life and that has been so great since life is so different now than when we were single/dating.  When you get married your goals and heart move to a different place.  So as a new Group Link is coming up to join small group I would really encourage you to consider taking the next step and joining a small group.  This as an investment in your walk with Christ and the value is remarkable.  You can learn more about Group Link here.

I'll PRAY for you

I know a lot of people who may be righteous (Have faith in the Almighty) but don't like Christians who push their beliefs on other people.  One way I kind of get around that is to be persistent and consistent in showing my faith.  The best way I know how to do this is when I see someone in need of prayers, I just simply tell them that I will pray for them.  It comes naturally to me because I was going to do it anyway so why not just let them know?  People are usually so grateful and they will know from my actions that I am a believer.  That way when they have questions or would like to know more about my faith they may know one person they can talk to about Christianity.

I think it is effective to be the body of the Church through service and my actions.  Just being a really happy person from the inner joy I get from just having the relation with my Savior and being grateful for all of my blessing.  I hope people close to me can just tell by the way I love them and how I help in their time of need.  I want people to know they can count on me to be there for them.  I want to be known for making this world a better place. By not only shining a light but shining brightly.

It's funny, I was out of town last weekend and so we missed Church on Sunday, and I had not had a chance to watch it on line.  I was in my married small group last night and we were talking about how we wanted to make a difference in the world by sharing our faith.  I brought up this concept of praying for people.  I was surprise to find out that this is exactly what Andy Stanley had talked about in his message last weekend in the Series Red letter Prayers.  For the full messages and to get caught up for this Sunday you can watch the previous messages here.

I hope you have an AMAZING weekend and thanks for continuing to support my efforts in writing and blogging.  I am well on my way to writing my book.  Please "Like" me on Facebook here. 

I choose you, EVERY time!

In August, it will be two years of being married to Kyle.  It has really flown by.  I love him more every day!!  We just really have fun together.  He is the most amazing Christian leader and someone worth following.  I would follow him anywhere and everywhere. I trust and respect him completely.  In return, he loves me completely, as I like to notice, how Christ loves us.  This is the key to our marriage and I believe any healthy marriage.  In marriage it seems you either grow together or unfortunately, you grow apart.  Growing together is what we will constantly strive for throughout our marriage.  It takes joyful work, patience, and tons of grace!  Sometime you have to, consciously, choose to love your spouse.

I really don’t know how I could ever live without him.  He is my everything. I tell him almost every day, “You know, if I had to pick one thing to have in this world… I choose you, EVERY time!!”  I also tell him that he is “my favorite, anything.”  He is my best friend, and the love of my life.  It is kind of funny to think about but, when I was single, I never really could imagine or expected to ever find someone like him or think about loving someone so much.  He is kind of easy to get along with which helps.  We were also older when we started dating so we were mature.  You have to be satisfied in your relationship with yourself and the Lord or there will be a void in your heart. Then, you try to fill that void with someone else.    

To quote part of my favorite poem by St. Anthony of Padua, “Be Satisfied in Me” he wrote:

“Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone,
To have a deep soul relationship with another,
To be loved thoroughly and exclusively.
But God, to a Christian, says,
“No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content
With being loved by Me alone,
With giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me,
With having an intensely personal and unique relationship
With Me alone…”

When I was single, I had this poem taped behind my bedroom door and I read it almost every day.  It helped me focus on my relationship with myself and the Lord.  I really can’t stress that enough, how important it is to be a “complete person” before you are serious about adding that special person to your life.  My recommendation to those being patient in God’s plan for your life is to enjoy every season.  Then when you are ready and the person God has for you is ready, God will unite you together.  Timing is everything. 

Don't Give up on Me!!

"Don’t Give Up On Me"
Jason Aldean
I don’t to church enough
I curse out loud, I drink too much
I’m more of a sinner than a saint
Got a dusty Bible on my shelf
I just pick it up when I need help
Lord know there’s a lot I need to change
And I want to, baby, you make me want to
You tie the knot
When I’m at the end of my rope
You never stop believin’ in me
When I don’t know who I am
Or what I’m supposed to be
I don’t give you no good reason
But baby, don’t give up on me...

Some times people need to know that someone believes in them. If you feel like there is not anyone who believes in you, know this... God never stops believing in you! God will always give you a second chance when you don't think anyone else will. God wants to be there for you all the time not just when you need help. Pray to God when you are thankful not just when you want something. The more in tune with God you become the more his will for your life will be clear.

Jason Aldeans song "Don't Give up on Me" starts out telling a very familiar story. Someone feeling like they are not good enough or can't measure up.  But let's be honest, this is all of us.  We can strive to be perfect but we will never be that way so we need to accept God's grace and forgiveness! 

In the song I feel like the "Baby" could be replaced with "Lord."  When he says, "You tie the knot, when I'm at the end of my rope" I believe this is how the Lord Loves us.  He is there for us when we have nothing else or anyone else.  The Lord doesn't let us slip away... ever.  All we have to do is reach out and grab on to the rope of salvation.

You. Just. Got. Served.

This one little phrase seems to have a pretty negative connotation lately.  It is the idea that you really slammed or put someone down.  It can seem funny if someone is joking around, but other times it may really be painful if it is a little to close to the heart. How many times a day do we hear about people that have a negative impact with their words cutting deep?

What if people thought of "serving" in a more positive way?!?!  One thing I love most in this world is giving back to my community in time and money.  Serving for me is a part of who I am and something I am really committed to doing with my free time.  I feel like I can really feel the heart beat of the church through the different areas I have assisted.

When I first served at Buckhead church it was in Wamba Land, the pre-elementary school ministry.  Here I saw first hand how the church starts to show God's love to children and teaches them how "God loves them and wants to be their friend forever."  I think it is awesome how the church simplifies the message so even a three year old can connect and understand the basic idea of Christianity.

Then I moved to volunteering in a Fusion group, the old version of Single's Gathering.  After that I started to co-lead my own Fusion groups.  It is amazing to see how God uses the get-together to make authentic friendships and then see how the relationships develop.  Dating relationships are not the goal but when God blesses a relationship that honors him, only good things come from it.  The Singles Ministry at the Northpoint Ministries has an incredible way of bringing like minded people together to honor God through friendships.

One of the coolest groups I led was the DoJustice Atlanta wide community service event.  For one day groups of singles come together and each group of about 15-20 people complete one project through hard work and dedication.  It may seem like one group may not make that big of a difference, and maybe if it was just one group it wouldn't.  But the Northpoint Ministries is a huge organization and never does something half way.  So imagine 100 groups of 20... 2,000 people serving in a day.  That kind of man power can really make a difference in the community.  One united front.  It is kind of like a Christian Army for good.  Serving people throughout the Atlanta area building relationships with your team and making a real difference.  I feel like the whole city gets a face-lift bringing a light to otherwise dark parts of this town.  By serving others we realize what makes us great... the will to put other people before us is humbling, making the Lord first.

Now I am married, and my husband and I are serving in Transit, the middle school ministry.  Middle school is a rough awkward age for so many young people.  Kids are growing, changing, and learning independence everyday.  They struggle with trying to fit in and sometimes give into peer pressure.  The goal with serving these young people is to empower them to believe in themselves and grow into young adults who truly know and love the Lord.  If we invest in them they will realize they are valuable and become confident that they can be true to themselves while maintaining their relationship with their parents and the Lord.

I believe in the power of three.  Three good influencers can make all the difference.  A parent, a teacher, and a third person supporting them.  A lot of times there will be a coach, a friend's parent or maybe a youth group leader.  In our case we are small group leaders to these girls and boys (I have a girls' small group and my husband has a boys' small group).  Just to think that we are serving these youth in the most impressionable time in their lives is already so rewarding.  It is so cool to see them open up while being authentic and real.  It's pretty cool to be able to relate to them.  The difficult things I had to deal with are still relevant issues that they go through today.

So next time you think about putting someone down, think about the difference you could make by serving them instead.  Bringing other people up by being a friend to them and putting them before yourself.  Then imagine what a group of people can accomplish if they work together to change the town for the better.

Be True to Yourself

I may not be some things but I always strive to be myself and be true to my beliefs!!  I want to be known for loving myself for who I am and never trying to be something I'm not.  Having a solid relationship with yourself and your Heavenly Father are two of the most important things we can do.  Besides feeling accepted by our peers it is essential to accept yourself, to love your imperfections and realize you are only human.  Some people try to hold themselves to impossible standards and in that case are never happy or satisfied.  I'm can't imagine worrying all the time about being perfect, which is not humanly possible.

Jesus came and died for our sins so that we may have a relationship with Jesus Christ.  Since we are not perfect we could never be right in God's eyes unless we have the grace of Jesus.  His blood made the relationship possible because he paid the price so we can have a atonement for our sins. 

God made us just the way he wanted us.  Who are we to say that we are not good enough?  God doesn't make mistakes.  When Jesus is the one strengthening us what can stop us.  I love leaning into the Almighty and knowing he is rooting for me and that he is on my side, cheering me on the whole time.  He is desperate to have a relationship with us and just loves us unconditionally. 

The Northpoint Ministries is doing a series called "Climate Change" and the big take aways is that: Acceptance is the cure for insecurity.  Our views of ourselves improves when we learn to see ourselves the way God sees us.  We are already accepted by God and that is enough.  His love is complete.  If we don't learn to accept ourselves then our insecurities will follow us through life and we will not be satisfied.  Learn to love yourself, accept, and try to see you as God sees you.  He is proud of you!!

You can watch the full message here.