Starbucks Location’s Discrimination Against New Mothers

It was December 23rd, 2024, a Monday. This happened at the Starbucks in Kennesaw, Georgia off Barrett Parkway.  440 Ernest W Barrett Pkwy NW, Kennesaw, GA 30144

I have a 6-month-old baby boy, named Jed Kody. He is so precious, and I love him dearly. I have been running errands since 11:00 a.m.  I drove all the way down to downtown Atlanta, for my first errand and took our new son with me.  I was making my way back up to Kennesaw to finish some other errands before heading home to Canton, GA. I wanted to stop for a late lunch- for me and my boy.

I like Starbucks' sandwiches and coffee so I stopped at the one right there on Barrett Pkwy. Traffic is, of course, insane with all the people still doing their holiday shopping right next to Town Center Mall. I enjoyed my yummy seasonal iced coffee and grilled cheese and was feeding our new son. He really wanted my grilled cheese and kept reaching for it!!

We were having a relaxing moment when I realized I needed to change his diaper before I left for home.  I was about to leave and asked to use the restroom because it has a code on it. There was a man in line in front of me and both single occupant bathrooms were in use. I waited as the man in front of me also waited.

Before I continued to wait in line for the bathroom, I went to ask the employees if they had a changing table in the bathroom. Two of the baristas said they, "didn't know.” I went back to wait for a bathroom and one of the bathrooms was opening. I asked the man in front of me if he could see if there was a changing table before I continued to wait. (They have gender neutral bathrooms.) He informed me there wasn't a changing table in the bathroom.

I went back up to a different barista and I asked her, "do you know there's no changing table in the bathroom?" She said, "Yes I do. [Starbucks] did a small renovation of the store and they removed the changing tables when they were doing the renovations. So, now there is no changing table in the bathrooms. They didn't ask us for our input." 

I walked away very upset and started wondering what I was going to do. No changing table in the bathrooms?! It’s 2 days before Christmas and traffic is everywhere. I just wanted to get home.

I had two options:

1. Change my baby in the cold, outside, out of the back of my SUV or

2. Change him right there on the table where I was sitting.

I am outraged that these were the only choices I had to change my new little son at Starbucks. I feel discriminated against as a new mother and against my son. I feel unwelcome at that Starbucks because it has bathrooms for everyone except new babies… on purpose.

 

Dear Starbucks’ Corporate Management,

Why did you make the corporate, deliberate, calculated decision to take changing tables out of the gender-neutral bathrooms? Was it because you didn't want your staff to have to clean extra things in the bathrooms? Was it because you didn't want possibly the smell of a diapers? Why would you remove the only bathroom for children of new mothers? Things are hard enough! I personally had a very hard time after both of my boys were born. This time included. Of course, the option of changing our son on the bathroom floor was out of the question!!

I'm very disappointed it was a deliberate decision to take out changing tables from the Kennesaw, GA bathrooms that had changing tables before "the small renovation."

I hope you consider putting the changing tables back into the gender-neutral bathrooms so parents can have a place to change their little children. I do enjoy your drinks and food, but hope you think about how your corporate decisions affect REAL families.

Sincerely,

Jen B

My Postpartum Struggle

James 

I recently read a truly heartbreaking story about a new mom who was silently and secretly struggling with postpartum depression. It got so bad that when her baby was only 4.5 months old, she took her own life. Click Here

This blog post is the first time I am opening up on social media about my own personal postpartum mental health struggles. Postpartum depression and women's mental health struggles, especially after pregnancy, definitely need to be talked about. I hope opening up about my own experiences will show that these struggles are real and more common than people think.

I pray if you are dealing with something big and "don't feel like yourself", "just feel kind of sad" (and you don't know why), "don't want to get out of bed and unmotivated", "don't enjoy the things you use to", "just want to be alone" (and normally you are so social), that you please seek help. Don't struggle alone! There are a lot of ways to start feeling like yourself again.

I had postpartum mental health issues and luckily sought treatment right away. My symptoms and condition were acute and very, very bad within days of giving birth. The pregnancy hormones and lack of sleep put me into a tailspin. Within a couple days after giving birth, I checked myself into a mental health hospital- the first time. We spent the next year trying to get me healthy and back on track. It took a lot of time for my recovery. I really wasn't back to myself until after our son was a year old.

I still feel like I missed out so much being in and out of the mental health hospitals that first year of James' life. I still have mom guilt about the whole thing. It came down to this: The best thing I could do for my son was to take care of myself first. My husband Kyle fought like hell to keep everything together on the home front. We moved into my in-laws home for 3 months so they could help us out with James, while I was recovering. We had so many friends that showed up for us in our time of need. To you all, we're forever grateful. All glory to God and I hope He uses these trials and experiences for good.

I have been told by my Dr. that I am pretty much at 100% probability I would have to go through it all over again if I carried another child. After years of thinking and praying, we have decided the risks are too high and we will not have another biological child. We are incredibly grateful that we are lucky enough to have ONE healthy, beautiful son. I know so many women struggle with infertility, which is an entirely different conversation of trials and heartbreaks.

I do wish people wouldn't keep telling me we should have another kid, "You need two!!" I know they mean well but I just want to say emphatically, "Mind your own business!" It's hard enough explaining this to my son. "I wish I could have another baby and give you a brother or sister, but I can't. I got very sick and I had to go to the hospital multiple times." That's a conversation I don't like having with him. (Yes, adoption would potentially on the table, but we are not there yet.)

But most importantly, I wish and pray that we, as a culture, could be more open with and accepting towards people struggling with mental health issues. I wish women wouldn't feel ashamed to ask for help and not struggle on their own. I wish people would seek out a friend, a counselor/therapist, and a psychiatrist if necessary. I think if we talked about it more, women wouldn't feel so alone. We all struggle!! We shouldn't struggle alone though. We need to support each other and new moms especially.

Sometimes we are not okay and we need to ask for help.

I am so glad I did...

My first Mother's Day without my mom and second as a mom

My first Mother's Day without my mom and my second as a mom. First I'd like to say a BIG Thank You to all my friends and family that have personally reached out to let me know they are thinking about me and praying for me. It is truly the comfort of the Holy Spirit that is helping me find joy in such a difficult day, which is so close to my mother, Doris Beardsley's, passing. 

To be honest, I am still kind of in shock that she is gone even after a month. I still call her and leave her messages. It feels like I am just waiting to hear from her until she calls me back. When the Lord calls me back we can finish our conversation. We sure will have a lot of catching up to do. 

When we talk in Heaven, I can tell her, again, how much she meant to me. How brave I knew she was, to fight through her pain everyday and never let anyone know how bad it was. She taught me that no one was perfect and to show myself grace. I'll tell her how much I learned from her: being kind and helping everyone as much as I can, being strong and courageous, living my life to the fullest, acting like a lady, learning and improving my knowledge constantly, and most of all loving with my whole heart!!!

Even as I write this I am starting to get emotional, thinking about how I won't hear her voice or her fun laugh again, in this lifetime. Heaven is eternity which will make this lifetime seem short, anyway. It still hurts and everyday it gets a little easier to live with the fact that she is gone. 

I am always going to remember all the memories we had together. Growing up knowing she would do and did anything for me and our family. Respecting her for working so hard to get her PhD in education. All the fun places we went together, traveling abroad and locally. Spending time at the lake on the weekends or even just watching Law and Order at nights growing up.

I am taking comfort that she is  with Jesus and with our Heavenly Father and Lord. She also is resting in such a beautiful place with such a great view overlooking the Atlanta & Buckhead skyline. It is a nice peaceful place to sit and hang out with her.