So Critical

‘“I was just thinking how critical you are.” My natural instinct was… well, you know. But I thought, This is a good willed man. Maybe he means something else.  So I asked, “What does that mean, that I’m critical?”  He replied, “I mean our family couldn’t exist without you. You are so critical to us.”’  “The Language of Love & Respect,” by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, Pg 101.

When I first read this I thought what you did, wow sounds like the beginning of a fight!  This amazing book talks about a lot of things but one of the points of this chapter is how men say plainly what they mean most of the time and women read in between the lines.  He also talked about how we hear each others voice's and have a different connotation in the sounds when we communicate.

I did an experiment with Kyle and myself at the dinner table.  I said will you yell my name, pretending you are trying to get my attention.  Then I did it.  I thought he sounded mad at me and he thought I sounded like a damsel in distress.  So this just shows how the tone of our voices can make the other person feel a certain way about something we are saying.

Two students are given a task to try to get the other student to cross a line.  Students in America will try to bribe the other student and do anything they can to try to get the other student to come over.  In Japan the same experiment was done and almost immediately all the students quickly switched sides so that each student won.  Hence a true win, win.

I guess that is why in a loving marriage we don’t try to win on just one side, we did like the Japanese and try for a win, win. There is no "i" in team.

As the Horses raced by Us...

We went to Steeplechase Atlanta, this past weekend and it was so much fun!  The hats, the dresses, the horses racing by us, what's not to love?!  This weekend was especially chilly so in other times during the day you could find us wrapped in blankets.  These are two of my really good friends, Andrea and Parisa.  We had such a good time hanging out and watching all the people.  I will tell you that the tents are all private and no one sells food at this event.  So bring your own appetizers and snacks! 

The horses did different types of races where they jumped over stuff and others where they were just going for speed.  They were fast too.  The jockeys were so little and cute.  The horses ran on grass, which was interesting to see.  I thought horses raced on clay, well not here it was grass all the way, and green lush grass at that.

But I will say everything is more fun with girl friends by your side.  A good friend will always have your back and you can be your self.  That is something I am so grateful for these days.  While marriage has been a huge blessing, my girl friends are still so important to me.  I value them and value our time together!!  I have the best of both worlds, with great girl friends and a loving husband who I respect and appreciate for all the hard work he does for us!

There was one point when Andrea and I had a moment and I knew we were soul sisters.  haha  She was in my wedding and I obviously made the right decision because she is a girl after my own heart!  It was so much fun bonding with them and just makes me so happy that I have nice people in my life, like them.

So I challenge you to thank the people in your life you are most grateful, and if someone is bringing you down, sometimes the best thing you can do is to cut ties with that person.  Having only positive people in your life is something I really think is important.  Life is too short to spend time with people that are bringing you down.  I have had to do it in the past and I am better for it.  I am not saying don't forgive the person, but that doesn't mean you have to keep letting them hurt you.  Sometimes you have to stand up for yourself and know when to move on.