The Bright Sides of my Ankle Recovery

Female Strength Mural at Mercedes-Benz Stadium

 I have always been a "Let's look at the bright side" kind of person.  During difficult situations sometimes you really must search for something positive.  Positives can be hard to find and maybe they will not be revealed until a (much) later date. I do believe; however, God can use anything for His good, eventually. God also can provide comfort and grace during a trial to help you get through it. If you welcome Him in, He is with you even if He is silent.

 

Getting my medical boot

Since I have broken my ankle, it has changed just about everything I do to get around, to do household tasks, forget about running or playing soccer. In the event I have somewhere to go dressed up, nope, no heels either. I love my heels- the higher the better. But COVID-19 canceled my "heel events" anyway.

 

First time going up the stairs

Taking a shower

Showers looked a lot different and stairs, do not get me started on stairs. I feared getting more hurt by going up or down stairs. I stayed in an extra bedroom on our main level and did not go up the stairs for 2 weeks. I slept on an air mattress and used the couch behind it for working.  You know when you own a business certain things still need to get done.  Employees would be pretty upset if I had not run payroll that week.

 

Frankie trying to be sweet

I could go on and on about all the things I could not do or how hard it was for me and my amazing husband and son who picked up all the slack. But, I want to focus on the bright sides of this situation.  This whole time I have been looking for how God will use my broken ankle and the aftermath to reveal things to me and teach me some life lessons.  This has happened for a reason, and I was determined to figure out what the reasons were.  This is part of my story now.

 

Flowers from a friend

Flowers from two friends

Love. The biggest bright side of this whole experience has been L O V E. Actually F E E L I N G how loved I am. I have been abundantly blessed by the outpouring of support in so many ways from my family, friends, friends of friends, neighbors and even acquaintances. This is my biggest bright side. To have such amazing people in my life during such a hard time has been overwhelming, in the best way. Our family has an unforgettable gratitude to all of you for your kindness. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!

 

Physical Therapy

I have a much bigger appreciation and gratitude for my health, fitness, and mobility. I developed a bigger compassion to those individuals that have mobility restrictions.  It is hard to explain, but there are a lot of emotions you have when you are struggling physically.  You feel like you are missing out because you cannot participate in certain things.

 

Grocery shopping for the first time

You can feel the eyes watching you wondering what happened to you or the story behind your situation. That is the most common question I get.  The little kids seem to be the most outspoken about their curiosities. Then their parents seem sorry or embarrassed that their kids ask questions or want to touch the medical boot. I did not mind them though, they mean well.

 

Tubing on the Toccoa River in Blue Ridge, GA

Then I felt almost guilty and an inconvenience for asking for help doing something that would have been easy for me before. I tried to ask in a really nice humble way and then be patient that it may not get done right then. I did not want to not come off as bossy or ungrateful.  I tried to use a lot of pleases and thank yous. That was a feeling I put on myself; Kyle and James are wonderful!

 

Braves game with my family

We feel very blessed with the things we have but they are not important, because they are just things.  It made me evaluate and reflect on what is important in life.  What IS important are the people you surround yourself with and the relationships you have in your life. My relationship with God.  That is one thing I can never do without in my life.

Our Identity

 

Photo Credit: Bazemore Photography

What is in a title? Most people, myself included, place a lot of importance on who we are and our identities by our titles. But what is in a title? I have been thinking about this and trying to figure out how I feel about my titles.  Originally, it came up because I was not able to volunteer in two different capacities within the last 6 months.  I missed the activities and they both meant a lot to me… I placed value in these titles.  I liked being associated with these volunteer opportunities.

But then I lost those titles. I was sad about losing them because I really enjoyed volunteering in these separate roles.

Then more recently I started to think about titles more in-depth. I realized all the titles we have are essentially temporary. I realized that during our lifetime, potentially all our titles will be lost.  It a sobering thought and morbid at the same time.  That realization did not feel too good.

Then. God.

There have only been a handful of times I truly felt the Holy Spirit nudge my heart in a very simple and specific, yet profound way at three major crossroads in my life.  The Holy Spirit in these moments changed my outlook and course of major decisions. 

Here are the three major moments from the last 11 years, in this order:

Photo Credit: Bazemore Photography

When I realized I wanted to date my now husband, Kyle.  We had been friends for 1.5 years at the time and were very close friends through our church community- the Buckhead Church, part of North Point Ministries. I had dated other people and none of the relationships had worked out.  I was discouraged and was starting to doubt if I would find someone whom I could share my life. Then God. It was a simple nudge of insight from the Holy Spirit, “Kyle would be perfect for you.” It was profound and I remember thinking back to that nudge, “He is!”

Photo Credit: Bazemore Photography

The second time was about a year and a half after our son, James, was born.  If you look at my previous blog post about my health struggles, it was clearly a very hard season for me and my whole family. At this time, things were looking up and Kyle and I started going back and forth thinking maybe we should consider having another child.  Boy, was that a hard season. We have so much love to give but the cons greatly outweighed the benefit of me personally having more children. Then. God. The Holy Spirit then gave me a nudge of comfort, “One is enough.”  It was the comfort I needed and the confirmation we were looking for at the time.  I tear up just thinking about that time because it was that emotional.

Jen & Kyle Behnke with their first three tractors

The third time the Holy Spirit nudged me was when we were at another major crossroad. We were thinking about starting a trucking company. Let’s just say deciding for both of us to quit our good paying jobs, put all of our livelihood on the line, with a one and a half year old, the same year my mom died, was a huge decision. Then. God. The Holy Spirit nudged my heart to take action, “The Lord can’t do big things in your life unless you put yourself out there. Just start with taking one step in faith.” So, we did take one step in faith at a time, then another, and then another.  Over 5 years, God has blessed us, United Federal Logistics Inc., to go from 3 tractors and 6 drivers, to now we have 23 tractors and over 45 people on staff. Our goal is still to be a trucking company people want to work for and provide a great opportunity for success for our staff.

Okay, back to last week and this new nudge from the Holy Spirit. I was thinking about the different titles I have and the sobering thought that they all at one point may be lost or change.  Maybe for the better, maybe not. Then the Holy Spirit gave me a nudge of comfort, “There is one title you will always have: Child of God and Daughter of God.” Wow talk about my mind blown.  I have heard these phrases many times. I have sung these words, read them in books and blogs, heard them from pastors or friends, but never like this.  It totally changed my whole outlook on my identity. Whatever title I have, lose, or will have, one title will remain, “Child of God, loved, forgiven, and redeemed through Jesus.”

This is also true for you!!!

“The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.” John 10:3-5 NIV

Stay safe and hug your loved ones.

The Story of the Immature Real Estate Agent

In small group last week, we talked about how the Lord will speak to us in the night and seal it in our minds if we have a pure heart. Well, last night was one of those nights!! I had a very vivid dream that reminded me of something my mom would have done, but then I realized it is something Jesus already did for us!

"The Story of the Immature Real Estate Agent"
A young and immature real estate agent was talking to another real estate agent about her commissions. She was bragging because she was such a great real estate agent, she got paid no matter what. The girl explained she was on a real estate team with her mom and they worked together.

The other real estate agent said, "But, that doesn't make sense. If the closing falls through no one gets paid. The buyer even loses their deposit. That is just how real estate deals work."

The immature real estate agent replied, "Well, I am just so good, I get paid either way. I work with my mom and even she says, 'I've got it covered.'"

"Wait, your mom says that 'she has it covered'?! Don't you see? That means she is the one actually paying your commissions when the deals fall through!!! You are 'getting paid no matter what' because your mom is paying your salary out of her own pocket when the deals fall through, not because you are some amazing real estate agent!!! You silly real estate agent, you shouldn't be paid for a job you didn't finish or complete. Your mom is the one who is so incredible and generous. She is taking that burden of losing the commission and paying you."

The immature real estate agent immediately felt remorse for being so proud and then became very humble and grateful for the strong love of her mom.


The moral of the story is:
This parallels exactly how the Lord loves us and why he sent Jesus to earth to die for our sins. He sent Him, even though we are proud, sinful and don't deserve to have our debt paid so we can have a relationship with God. Jesus died for EVERYONE'S sins. He died a tragic, gruesome, awful, painful death so we could have life with the Lord and have life abundantly!! As it is with the real estate agent, some people don't even know it or even realize the gift the Lord has given us, so please share this parable so other people can learn of God's love.

“so Christ was sacrificed once to take away the sins of many; and he will appear a second time, not to bear sin, but to bring salvation to those who are waiting for him.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭9:28‬ ‭NIV

Easter 2015 "Unbelievably Believable"

"Unbelievably Believable"
Andy Stanley
North Point Community Church
Easter April 5, 2015
Full message: http://northpoint.org/messages/easter-2015/

We do not believe that Jesus rose from the dead because the Bible tells us so. We believe the Easter narrative because of what Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, James, Paul and hundreds of people said they saw, a resurrected Savior. But, the end of the story comes as a complete surprise to everyone.

The Easter Story:
John the Baptist came first and told everyone to get ready. He told people to get ready for what God is going to do. He told them he was not a Messiah but was paving the way for the One to come.  Then when Jesus came he healed hundreds of people, fed thousands, taught and made disciples. He continued to raise the standards so everyone knew they were sinners and needed a Savior. Then Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead and the "crowds went wild."

"If we let him go on like this, everyone will believe in him, and then the Romans will come and take away both our temple and our nation.” (John 11:48 NIV). Which was bad for them because then their religion and politics came together to undermine the biggest event in history. They would lose their authority. "So from that day on they plotted to take his life." (John 11:53 NIV)

If it was made up Matthew, Mark, Luke and John would have written themselves into the story as heroes. If they made up the stories they would have Spin: courageous, faithful led, sweet skills. Instead they were  Real: real scared, real insecure, real concerned... for themselves.

If you were making it up you would have written them as standing by Jesus when He was persecuted, if he goes I'll go. But it is unbelievably believable. They all denied him and ran off. They were cowards. After he was crucified, none of them stick around even for his funeral. Jesus loses, Rome wins. A fearful believer and a Pharisee buried him and none of his friends were even there!

Jesus' enemies had more confidence in the Jesus movement than Jesus' followers. Then the chief priest and temple leaders went to Pilate. Pilate let them take Jesus' body and they buried it, instead of the custom of letting crucified bodies rot on the cross. So the religious leaders asked Pilate to give them the authority and soldiers to guard the body.

"So give the order for the tomb to be made secure until the third day. Otherwise, his disciples may come and steal the body and tell the people that he has been raised from the dead. This last deception will be worse than the first.” “Take a guard,” Pilate answered. “Go, make the tomb as secure as you know how.” (Matthew 27:64-65 NIV)

There was no way the Jesus followers would have stolen the body.  Stealing the body was dangerous and pointless. Since they weren't willing to die for him when he was alive, there is no way they would risk their lives when he is dead. Why die for a dead man whose death disproved everything he asked you to believe while he was alive? If Jesus could not save himself, how could they save themselves? If he didn't want to save himself why should they? Jesus' message was all about himself. His death undermined everything he had taught. They last thing they were thinking about was stealing his body.

Now you have: nervous religious leaders, terrified Apostles, despondent women, and confused Roman soldiers. You don't have anyone anticipating a resurrection. You have exactly what you would expect if this really happened.

We're not here because: someone stole a body, someone died on a cross, someone gave a series of lectures. We're here because despondent women to came to re-embalm the body of their precious Savior. They got there and the tomb was empty and Jesus was raised from the dead. Then he lived on the Earth again and hundreds of people saw him as he was resurrected and apostles wrote it all down 30-40 years later.

"Nobody was expecting no body."

In this same the city, where the cowards and women who were not expecting no body now had a very different message. They went into the streets yelling: You killed him. God raised him from the dead. We've seen Him. Now say you're sorry!

"For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures, and that he appeared to Cephas, and then to the Twelve. After that, he appeared to more than five hundred of the brothers and sisters at the same time, most of whom are still living, though some have fallen asleep. Then he appeared to James, then to all the apostles, and last of all he appeared to me also, as to one abnormally born." (1 Corinthians 15:3-8 NIV)

It was not 100 years later like a fable or fairy tale. Believers during that time, could meet with men and women who saw them. Paul was least of them because he had persecuted Christians, had them arrested, tortured, and killed. How humble he felt now after he believed.

Your faith is not in vain. Your faithfulness is not in vain. When you volunteer and support your local church or in your market place, your faithfulness is not in vain. Your curiosity is not in vain. Your consideration not in vain. Your belief is not in vain.

From a distance it seems unbelievable but when you look at what happened next and through thousands of years it is unbelievably believable. Not because of the Bible. It is because they saw a resurrected Savior. Your your confidence is not in vain.

A prayer: I believe when Jesus died he died for me. I believe he died on a cross and was buried. Jesus rose from the dead and was seen.

Part Three: Whatever You Do

The Good Life Series
Gavin Adams
Watermarke Church
www.watermarkechurch.com/messages/the-good-life/

Links to previous FunLovingJen posts:
"The Good Life Series" Part 1: Taking a Walk
"The Good Life Series"- Part 2: Maintaining Your Pace

Link to next FunLovingJen post
"The Good Life Series"- Part 4: On Purpose for a Purpose

The first week, we talked about how there is a Good God, with a Good Plan, with a plan that is uniquely personal to each one of us. Believing in God's will is one thing, but discovering God's plan is something different. God's personal direction requires a personal connection.

The second week, we talked about walking with God & growing with our personal relationship with Jesus.  If we stop walking with Jesus, his plan for our life stagnates. When we live God's way we discover our way. An obstacle that causes us to stumble, is part of God's way. The list of things that cause us to stumble was very convicting and may have been hard to think about in relation to our struggles and obstacles that can keep us away from God's plan for our life.

If you believe in God or not, we all would love to have a plan for our life!

Gavin told a story about delivering shoe box care packages to children in the Republic of Panama for Operation Christmas from the Be Rich campaign. During his visit he was able to see so many children and their joy of receiving a shoe box of items and toys. One of the stops was at a church where he met Pastor William Wilbur. In 1976 pastor Wilbur had a calling from God to relocate to Panama to start his church. He was there when Panama was under the dictatorship, then the US invasion, when it was very dangerous. He also runs a prison ministry.

Gavin started asking himself questions like:
Have I found a calling for my life?
Have I found a purpose for my life?
Did I have it and now I lost it?

Gavin thought about times like marrying his wife, quitting his job in consulting to go into ministry, and moving to Woodstock to be a pastor at Watermarke. After Gavin's trip he wondered if he knew his plan. What is next for him?

Knowing the plan requires us to know how we define it: Understanding God's personal plan changes our direction. To to go from personally to what is next we have to understand how God's personal plan changes our direction.

Many times Christians pray then wait. Pray then wait. Pray then wait. There is no place more frustrating than God's waiting room. But, when we wait for God's plans to be revealed we become so frustrated we might walk away from God, walk by ourselves, or define our own plan for our lives. This is where the "Good Life" comes in for us. Not knowing God's plan we settle for a good plan, our own plan. What if our struggle was one of definition, not direction. Jesus has a plan, he knows what is next for you, he even has a course correction, which is a huge part of God's personal plan.

In one of Paul's letters, he writes about wives submitting to husbands, and husbands loving your wives as Christ loves us and Christ died for us.... Then he talks about children obeying your parents but also, parents don't make it difficult for them to obey you. Parents be for your kids.

Slaves (indentured, to pay off a debt), obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. (Colossians 3:22 NIV)

We know people work hard when your boss or coach is watching. But God also says, work hard when no one is watching out of reverence for the Lord. For example if you love your wife like crazy, she will love you.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, (Colossians 3:23 NIV)

Your list of whatever you do might be:
Work, marriage, parenting, friendships, recreation, housework, ESPN, whatever you do. Especially when no one is watching!!! Work for the Lord!

since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. (Colossians 3:24 NIV)

Don't miss what is now because of what is next. It's easier to think of God's future plan for you instead of right now. God gives a calling while you wait on a calling. Whether it is your wife, your children, live like Jesus is in charge. Until God tells you what to do, do what you can and do it to your best of your ability. Then you can have a deep personal relationship now. God has always given you something while you wait.

God is your boss!

Part Two: Maintaining Your Pace

The Good Life Series
Gavin Adams
Watermarke Church
Watermarke Church: "The Good Life Series"

Links to previous FunLovingJen post
"The Good Life Series"- Part 1: Taking a Walk

Links to next FunLovingJen posts:
"The Good Life Series"- Part 3: Whatever You Do"
"The Good Life Series"- Part 4: On Purpose and for a Purpose

How many times do people say to themselves, "If I had what they had, I would be happy." The grass can seem greener when it isn't on your lawn! But, of course every relationship is tricky!!

There is always a journey in any relationship:
The journey starts
You take steps together
The new relationship is exciting
Trust forms over time
Then trust is tested

But in any relationship, if we stop we stagnate. You have to trust each other. If you trust each other you will travel together. All of our relationship problems with Jesus are on our end.

There are three types of relationships with Jesus:
1. Providential
2. Moral
3. Personal

Think about how the apostle Paul planted churches and his books in the Bible he was writing letters to the different churches.  During this time the Romans were immoral.

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship." (Romans 12:1 NIV)

Even how unloveable you are, because of God's mercy, God loves you anyway. We need to put God's will over yours, though. The way to honor God is by trusting him always.

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." (Romans 12:2 NIV)

Don't do what the world believes. The world believes this is as good as it gets, but is it? Take a journey with Jesus and allow him to transform the way you think. Renewal in you, through you by Jesus. See yourself how God sees you. You are worth sending Jesus to die for you so, you could have a direct relationship with God. God's providential will asks us to follow. But God's moral will asks us to trust him if we want to discover his plan for your life.

Where do you struggle to trust God?
Loving people that aren't like you?
Praying for your enemies?
Trusting God with your finances?
Coveting people other than your spouse?
Do you need to stop Gossiping?!?!

Our Lord & Savior pauses with you when you pause on your walk with Him. God says "I know why you are pausing, but my grace is enough to not let you fall but you have to trust me." The great news is God's good plan is better than our Good Life.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV)

Life would be easy if you trust God with your whole heart. The straight path doesn't equal an easy path but it makes the best path. The struggles in our lives certainly don't go away, but we are so close to Jesus we have peace and perseverance.

In conclusion, step into struggles with the moral will of God!

Part One: Taking a Walk

Taking a Walk

The Good Life Series
by: Gavin Adams
Watermarke Church
The Good Life Series, Watermarke Church

Next FunLovingJen posts:
"The Good Life Series"- Part 2: Maintaining Your Pace
"The Good Life Series"- Part 3: Whatever Your Do
"The Good Life Series" Part 4: On Purpose and for a Purpose

First, let's talk about God's Providential Will.

Jesus followers many times will pray, "God I just want to know where you want me to go," in regards to the direction to go with their life.

We think there is a Good God with a Good plan. When he won't tell us what the plan is it can sometimes erode our faith. Is God being distant? Is God not good at revealing the plan for your life?

We have to know deep in our hearts that God's personal plan for our lives is a unique plan meant especially for us. Importantly also, God's will is way bigger than ours.

God has 3 different types of will:
Providential Will- the directions your life will go in that God has decided for you without your permission

Part two of this series covers:
Moral Will- God wants us to live according to His word

Part three of this series covers:
Personal Will- what he will do in our lives

We have to remember that God's Grace is in all three and they are connected.

Then we think about Abraham. Many religions will agree, Abraham is the Father of Faith and just look at his life!

"The Lord had said to Abraham, “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you." (Genesis 12:1 NIV)

Maybe Abraham said, "Where?" God would have replied, "I'll show you. Don't worry. I'll show you." This would frustrate some people, to not know where God wanted us to go.

"So Abraham went, as the Lord had told him; and Lot went with him. Abraham was seventy-five years old when he set out from Harran. He took his wife Sarai, his nephew Lot, all the possessions they had accumulated and the people they had acquired in Harran, and they set out for the land of Canaan, and they arrived there." (Genesis 12:4-5 NIV)

When the Bible references the possessions someone had it meant someone had a Good Life. So Abraham was very well off. He stopped at many places including at the great tree of Moreh at Shechem.

"Abraham traveled through the land as far as the site of the great tree of Moreh at Shechem. At that time the Canaanites were in the land. The Lord appeared to Abram and said, “To your offspring I will give this land.” So he built an altar there to the Lord, who had appeared to him." (Genesis 12:6-7 NIV)

In those days, people created an alter as a reminder of God's provision with stones. It was a way of remembering that God showed up promised

Is there a reason for God to not tell people the plan for their lives?  Why doesn't God just tell them the plan to at least have clarity. That is what we want. Just knowing the plan is helpful.

Can't God just tell us, "Go toward the west." But, God is strategic. He is the definition of love, so why is He so vague? But there is a bigger question besides where or why...

Maybe God needed to just take a walk with Abraham.

What if God's personal plan begins with a Providential Walk? Where we don't know where we are going, we are just trusting God that He is with us.

Then we think about how Abraham's lineage leads to Jesus!!! But, before God could do something through Abraham, had to do something in Abraham. At every alter, at every step, His relationship with God grew.

God's personal direction always requires a personal connection and Sometimes we need to just take a walk with God.

Some people may be sitting with their arms crossed, looking at God waving to come to follow Him have their doubts.  A connection with God always precedes God revealing His direction for your life.

So the first part is to take a step towards God, to start to follow.  This is a starting point.

If you are not sure and have doubts, that is ok, pick up your doubts and take a step. Faith actually requires doubt. If we knew everything we wouldn't have faith. So doubts are ok, because we are not going to have all the answers.

The next steps is to trust God. Try to have less things around you that may distract you from your relationship with God.
For every obstacle we need to step over each obstacle. Are you scared? That is ok. Do you have curiosity? You must figure it out your obstacles or they will hinder you. Stepping is walking, and walking is growing.

Just remember: Life lived in the centered of God's plan is the best plan!

Fighting for her Life

I haven't known too many people that were in intensive care and do not know any that have been there for about four months... I am inspired and awed that Kyle's Grandmother Una has been fighting for her her life for 6 months now.  It seems like she is getting better from prayers because she hasn't had very good care.  I was talking to Kyle's Grandad today and he said she can feel the prayers and is finally improving.  The recovery has been slow but she is a fighter and has a great support system of people who would do anything for her.

Grandma Una and Grandad have three amazing daughters, and he said that they are all very strong willed [stubborn] women.  In a case like this when she desperately wants to live, it has turned out to be a very, very, good thing to be.  He tells me every time he sees her she begs him to take her home.  At first she wasn't getting out of bed and that wasn't helping the recovery.  It was hard on everyone.  Especially her husband of 60 wonderful years!!

Then he told her something I think was a great thing to tell Grandma Una in this situation. "As soon as you can walk out of here I will take you home."  So, then she asked the physical therapist to help her walk.  And today he told me that she has walked about 100 ft today, and then 75 ft.  This is huge progress.  She also had a trachea breathing tube getting oxygen and was also getting food through a tube.  Now today I heard she is eating real food and is breathing on her own.  We are all extremely proud of her!!

Grandma Una on her way to a full recovery!!

For those of you who have been praying for her recovery, it is picking up speed.  I think she is looking forward to our pending trip to see them there in Texas this Thanksgiving.  She is working towards being home by then, which will be a miracle.  We are trusting God that his will be done.  If Grandma Una has anything to do with it her persistence will keep her spirits up and she will continue to persevere!  She has a lot to live for: a husband that would do anything for her, 3 daughters that love her to pieces, and 1 grandson (my husband) who is benefiting from her legacy and loves her so much.  I think she is also waiting to have a grandchild... one day!

Perfection

Per-fec-tion:
1. the quality or state of being perfect: as
a: freedom from fault or defect: flawlessness...
2. a: exemplification of supreme excellence
b: an unsurpassable degree of accuracy or excellence
3: the act or process of perfecting

It's in the dictionary, but in the Biblical sense I don't think it is even possible.  It doesn't stop people from labeling various things as having perfection.  The first thing that comes to mind is Kelly Osborn on Fashion Police.  Any Joan Ranger would know when an outfit looks amazing Kelly is the very first person to call it Perfection.  I even like the way she says it and she is usually spot on with her favorite pick.

Needless to say, most people strive for Perfection.  But, realistically speaking we will always fall short.  If this is consistently our goal, it is possible to be unsatisfied and unfulfilled if you are not careful.  When we will fall short, we could have the feeling that we can never measure up or achieve our goal.  Though, it shouldn't stop us from striving for Perfection. 

My Senior Quote in our yearbook was, "Shoot for the Moon and you are sure to land among the Stars."  This quote reminds me, that while true Perfection is impossible, if you aim for it then you will and should be proud of your results.  This is the reason people tell me all the time how detail oriented I am.  I work hard and pour over the details.  If I can check and double check things to look for accuracy then I may be close to getting things just right.  It may turn out that I fall short but if I am truly honest with myself and the effort, then I can sure be proud of my results.  I also really enjoy being efficient.  "Work smarter, not harder."  I use that as my personal motto as well.

But when we fall short, The Trick is to accept the Grace of God that we can never become perfect.  Jesus was the only one who anyone can ever say was perfect.  He lived a completely blameless life.  Thus when he was sacrificed, it paid the price so we could have a personal relationship with our Lord and Savior. So give yourself a break.  Do your best and you will never have any regrets.  I truly believe that and this is why I work so hard.  I try to take pleasure in the small things and joys I come across.  I accept the Grace of God and live a life I can be proud of because I always give it my all.

I choose you, EVERY time!

In August, it will be two years of being married to Kyle.  It has really flown by.  I love him more every day!!  We just really have fun together.  He is the most amazing Christian leader and someone worth following.  I would follow him anywhere and everywhere. I trust and respect him completely.  In return, he loves me completely, as I like to notice, how Christ loves us.  This is the key to our marriage and I believe any healthy marriage.  In marriage it seems you either grow together or unfortunately, you grow apart.  Growing together is what we will constantly strive for throughout our marriage.  It takes joyful work, patience, and tons of grace!  Sometime you have to, consciously, choose to love your spouse.

I really don’t know how I could ever live without him.  He is my everything. I tell him almost every day, “You know, if I had to pick one thing to have in this world… I choose you, EVERY time!!”  I also tell him that he is “my favorite, anything.”  He is my best friend, and the love of my life.  It is kind of funny to think about but, when I was single, I never really could imagine or expected to ever find someone like him or think about loving someone so much.  He is kind of easy to get along with which helps.  We were also older when we started dating so we were mature.  You have to be satisfied in your relationship with yourself and the Lord or there will be a void in your heart. Then, you try to fill that void with someone else.    

To quote part of my favorite poem by St. Anthony of Padua, “Be Satisfied in Me” he wrote:

“Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone,
To have a deep soul relationship with another,
To be loved thoroughly and exclusively.
But God, to a Christian, says,
“No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content
With being loved by Me alone,
With giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me,
With having an intensely personal and unique relationship
With Me alone…”

When I was single, I had this poem taped behind my bedroom door and I read it almost every day.  It helped me focus on my relationship with myself and the Lord.  I really can’t stress that enough, how important it is to be a “complete person” before you are serious about adding that special person to your life.  My recommendation to those being patient in God’s plan for your life is to enjoy every season.  Then when you are ready and the person God has for you is ready, God will unite you together.  Timing is everything. 

Don't Give up on Me!!

"Don’t Give Up On Me"
Jason Aldean
I don’t to church enough
I curse out loud, I drink too much
I’m more of a sinner than a saint
Got a dusty Bible on my shelf
I just pick it up when I need help
Lord know there’s a lot I need to change
And I want to, baby, you make me want to
You tie the knot
When I’m at the end of my rope
You never stop believin’ in me
When I don’t know who I am
Or what I’m supposed to be
I don’t give you no good reason
But baby, don’t give up on me...

Some times people need to know that someone believes in them. If you feel like there is not anyone who believes in you, know this... God never stops believing in you! God will always give you a second chance when you don't think anyone else will. God wants to be there for you all the time not just when you need help. Pray to God when you are thankful not just when you want something. The more in tune with God you become the more his will for your life will be clear.

Jason Aldeans song "Don't Give up on Me" starts out telling a very familiar story. Someone feeling like they are not good enough or can't measure up.  But let's be honest, this is all of us.  We can strive to be perfect but we will never be that way so we need to accept God's grace and forgiveness! 

In the song I feel like the "Baby" could be replaced with "Lord."  When he says, "You tie the knot, when I'm at the end of my rope" I believe this is how the Lord Loves us.  He is there for us when we have nothing else or anyone else.  The Lord doesn't let us slip away... ever.  All we have to do is reach out and grab on to the rope of salvation.

Unanswered prayers

I was just praying about the things I thought I wanted in life and the things I love now that I have them.  When I was little I made a list: 1-20 about the characteristics I wanted in a husband.  (I wonder how many people have a list?!?)  Standards.  When it all comes down to it, I realize that there may be things that you think you want but some times you don't know what you need.  This is where God intervenes.  God knows not only what we really want but he gives us what we really need!!  He sees us through and lets us figure things out on our own but in the end we get what He knows will make us happy. 

Life is a quest on the pursuit of happiness, as I went into yesterday, it is a journey.  I am so grateful that I didn't have certain prayers answered because I wouldn't want my life to be any different.  My life is exactly how it should be.  I am so blessed that God has a perfect plan for me.  He has looked out for me throughout the years.  I went through some very difficult seasons but those experiences made me stronger and prepared for the things in my life now.  This song just about sums it up!!

"Unanswered Prayers"
     Garth Brooks

Just the other night a hometown football game
My wife and I ran into my old high school flame
And as I introduced them the past came back to me
And I couldn't help but think of the way things used to be

She was the one that I'd wanted for all times
And each night I'd spend prayin' that God would make her mine
And if he'd only grant me this wish I wished back then
I'd never ask for anything again

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

She wasn't quite the angel that I remembered in my dreams
And I could tell that time had changed me
In her eyes too it seemed
We tried to talk about the old days
There wasn't much we could recall
I guess the Lord knows what he's doin' after all

And as she walked away and I looked at my wife
And then and there I thanked the good Lord
For the gifts in my life

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers

Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he may not answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered

Some of God's greatest gifts are all too often unanswered...
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers


 

The Struggle

I have had my fair share of struggles.  I have gone through long periods of sickness, I was laid off three times in Commercial Real Estate before I went into different fields, and I had loved and lost multiple times.  Now I am healthy, I love my job, and I am married to the most incredible man!  Without having lived my life and experiencing the struggles, I could never fully appreciate the blessings God has given me.  I always knew in my heart that God was with me and leaning into him and my loved ones is what carried me through the trials in my life.

It is kind of like appreciating a rainbow, or two, after a huge storm.  Or witnessing the most beautiful sunrise after the darkness of night.  The colors seem so brilliant when you gaze at a rainbow and the sun and breeze feel heavenly after leaving the shadows.  God let's us experience life, and unfortunately he can't protect us from bad things happening to us.  What he can do is give you the strength to persevere and he can carry you through the darkness or help you move past the trying periods in your life.  He blesses you with the grace to stay strong when we feel like we can't go on anymore.

My favorite quote is from the United States Declaration of Independence:

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." 

We have the right to pursue happiness and have a will to thrive.  I don't know why but this is so profound to me.  No one ever said we had the right to be happy.  It is something I strive for every day and I make my own happiness by enjoying the little things and living in the moment.   It is a journey we are on all of our days to live life to the fullest, keeping all the while our inner joy.  Letting our light shine bright and loving others as Jesus and the Lord so loved us.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16 NIV

Enjoy being single

I am a big proponent that it is better to be single than with the wrong person.  How much time can you “waste” if you know in your heart the relationship is not going anywhere?  There are four seasons in the year but there is no telling how many seasons you will have in your personal life.  Another way of saying this is, you will go through many different periods in your life: from growing up, to dating, single, back to dating, back to single, then possibly marriage.  In every season of your life enjoy the moment!!  I cannot stress this enough.

 In your ministry you can do more as a single person. You will have more time to serve his Kingdom, because when you are married your ministry is to your spouse and family.  There are limitations like coordinating schedules etc.  When you are single you can pick up and head overseas to serve internationally, for example.  The most important thing you can do to honor God in marriage is to love your spouse as God loves the church.  Keeping God in the center of a marriage is imperative to keeping a healthy marriage.  If you love someone you will never do anything to intentionally hurt that person.

God never promises you will be married. As much of a desire it may be in your heart, it may not be part of your story.  If it is then it will happen on God’s timing.  You really cannot force love or a great relationship. There is either the connection that is mutual that will lead to marriage or there are not those feelings.  I dated quite a few people before I found the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with growing old together.  I happen to realize the man of my dreams was right in front of me the whole time, but it may not happen that way for you.  There is not a cookie cut away a relationship will develop and every person is different.  I never blamed one person for what the last person did.  Always keep an open mind, until they show you otherwise.

I will say I had never dated a friend, until my husband, and I would recommend it with extreme caution.  It is a tricky situation because the first thing I wanted to do was preserve our friendship.  Love developed.  Again, it was a natural progression.  Feelings became love through a purposeful dating relationship.  Timing is always everything.  You may be madly in love with someone but they may not be ready to date or be in a relationship.  At the same time I don’t recommend putting your life on hold if they expressly deny feelings for you. 

So the moral that I hope you get from this is: be content, enjoy the moment, trust the Lord that he has your best interest at heart, and stay positive!!

An Underdog...

Can be bullied, beaten, doubted, pushed aside, unloved, under appreciated, and abused by society.  Everyone likes a comeback story where the underdog gets the courage to prove them wrong.  When we look to the Lord for strength and comfort His grace will carry us through any situation.  This is why it is so important to have the Savior in your life, your corner, and in your heart!  When the people close to you are the ones bringing you down, it can feel like an even bigger challenge to overcome the adversity.

People don’t like different from what is considered “normal.”  If you are too unique in any way you can become subject to criticism.  If you are too pretty, too smart, too rich people can become jealous and ugly in their heart.   A lot of people can have trouble just being happy for someone.  It can almost be like they are waiting and wanting you to fail.  If a relationship starts to have trouble some people can be so quick to confirm that they thought it wouldn’t work out.  How awful is that?!  On the other side if you are unattractive, unintelligent or poor some people feel like they are better than you.  Then they will put you down to bring themselves up.  This is the worst.

Regardless of all these depressing options there is hope and good news.  Jesus came for everyone so that we may have a relationship with the Lord. He loves us no matter what happens, no matter what people think of us, or what situation we may be in at the moment.  So be you, be extraordinary, and be different.  God loves you and accepts you the way you are.  Don’t spend one second listening to your critics if you are trying to pursue your goals and they are trying to bring you down. Don’t listen to them if they doubt your future success.  Who is to say what the Lord is capable of within His plan for your life?  If God’s answer to your prayers is “Yes,” who then should tell you “No?!?!?” 

We should then only take our cues from the Lord above. Until his answer is clear, keep pursuing your goals.  Don’t listen to your bullies or abusers.  Be strong and know, through God all things are possible.  If you have gifts and blessings from the Lord Almighty don’t feel guilty or ashamed.  Use the gifts for good and enjoy the season of peace.  There will be tough times so you will need to be rested so you will have the strength to persevere!  Have confidence in your own self-worth through God.  This is the key to satisfaction in self.

The most important thing in life...

The most important relationships in my life, in this order are the ones with: the Lord, my husband, my family, and my friends.  How fortunate are the people that are able to develop healthy relationships with all three.  If you ask me on any given day which I would rather have a good professional life or a good personal life?  I would tell you healthy personal life wins every time. 

From healthy relationships everything else starts to make sense.  The people in your life have the biggest impact on you.  Andy Stanley talked today about the people that love you and the people that hurt you.  The story of my life and the people in it, this is what has shaped me today.  The Lord has blessed me with incredible people who have poured love into me, because of this I have been able to pour love into other people. 

If you know love, you show love. Having love in your heart and in your soul, there is nothing that can beat that.  Through love you can overcome any obstacle.  I am a big believer that you grow.  You can grow stronger, you can evolve into something different. Through the loving pivotal relationships in your life you will feel the comfort.  Love can comfort you even in the most difficult circumstances.  If you have love it gives you strength.  Love will lift you when you can't lift your own spirit. 

The good news is Jesus Christ.  His love is perfect and sustaining.  The love of Jesus will comfort your soul when you feel uneasy.  If you let Jesus into your heart he will give you guidance.  This is exactly where he wants to be... in you.  He wants to be a part of you.  He wants you to have the closeness to feel his will and not make you go so far to get good advice.  Being in the word of the Bible will reveal to you the way Jesus loves and how we should love others.  When we love others we can provide the comfort Jesus gives us. 

We all are desperate for this love.  When people don't look to Jesus sometimes people look the other way and go into a dark place.  The thing to remember is Jesus is so big he can pull you out of the darkest place and he will fight for you.  He will fight to be in your life and all we have to do is ask him to come into our hearts.  He won't barge in, but he will be there with you.  Even through periods where he is silent or the answer to your prayers are "No."  It never, ever means he isn't listening or is not there.  He is always there.  He voice may not seem very loud if you are not listening but the whisper gets louder as you are more open to his will for your life.  The quieter you are the louder his voice will become. So, quiet your spirit and God's voice will lead your path.

My Legacy

I have had a lot on my heart lately about my dreams, the things I want to do, and transferring them into actions.  I realized recently I am ready!!!  I have been wanting to pursue my calling to write my story for a while.  I actually started my blog to prepare myself for this journey, essentially the next chapter in my life.  I am coming up on the 2 year anniversary of FunLovingJen.com and I feel equipped to take the next step.  Now, I am turning the page... 

The reason I am writing about this today is I want to hold myself accountable.  When you say things out loud and honestly submit your prayers to God, I really feel like He knows you are serious and you completely trust him.  God, "this is me submitting my life and the grace you have given me be brave and take the next step toward my dream and calling of becoming a real author."  I write, obviously with my blog, but I have always felt that there is an accomplishment associated with a hard bound book!

I have been praying about this endeavor and God whispered in my ear, "One step at a time, patience and determination lead to success, and hard work will pay off." Then I felt very inspired when he revealed to me, "a three hundred page book is 30 parts of 10 pages."  This is sounds absolutely nuts but this was a revolutionary mindset to me.  I think about 10 pages, and I think about one chapter or story of my life.  I could write one chapter of 10 pages and if I think about 30 different stories of my life I could accomplish this easily.  It was a comforting feeling.  This is why I feel God's presence in this path he is leading me down.

It was so daunting to think about writing 300 pages.  I now I am just thinking about it in sections.  My life has prepared me for this.  My courses in high school and my courses in college especially have been so helpful in developing my writing.  It is funny when I heard God's whisper, "Imagine how many pages of 10 I have already written!!" Just in FunLovingJen.com alone I have written 86 blogs posts!! I could probably compile a book just on my posts alone that I have already written. What a cool thought!!! 

But the blog is not my dream.  My dream is to be a published author.  My blog has been a means to an end... 

People talk about wanting to make a difference in this world.  My story is the type of story that will encourage people to overcome and thrive no matter what you go through in your life.  I know everyone has struggles and adversity.  Not everyone is comfortable or willing to share these intimate details.  Through the Lord I know this is one of the things I must do. 

This will be my legacy!

"Christians"

Disciple... Following Jesus and being like him.   I feel very inspired by Andy Stanley's current series at the Northpoint Community churches called "Christians."  I want to talk about it with a review and my thoughts on his BRILLIANT message.  It reminds me of the true meaning of the word disciple and how Jesus changed the world.  The series discusses how Christian was not a name we gave ourselves but one that other people gave us.  The word Christians is only used a couple times in the Bible.  So if the name is barely mentioned in the Bible what did Jesus' followers call themselves?  Disciple is the word consistently mentioned throughout the Bible instead of Christians.

In the Bible Jesus commands his disciples to LOVE one another.  This is what Jesus calls us to do... Love one another.  John 13:35 "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another!" Andy pointed out that any time people put more emphasis on anything else other than love, we are going in the wrong direction and backwards.  People fight wars in the name of religion, churches take and use authority to leverage power but this was not what Jesus was truly about! 

Love, it is all about love. Acting like Jesus. The whole "What Would Jesus Do" idea was right on target.

A lot of people don't like Christians because they feel like we are judgmental.  From my perspective I would say for certain Christians this is the case.  I previously thought that we shouldn't judge anyone.  When in fact the only people Christians need to worry about is other Christians.  No one who is not a Christian ever said they would commit to the things Christians signed up for themselves.  In 1 Corinthians 5:9-12 it references that Christians need to be judging each other and hold another accountable for our actions.

Some people have to figure things out on their own.  We have to know what life is like without Jesus to know what grace we can have THROUGH Jesus.  With grace we are all forgiven.  It is through humbling ourselves that we receive grace.  It is when you realize you desperately need forgiveness that you can pray honestly to God that you need his grace.  Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you come back to the church and realize you need Jesus in your life as your Lord and Savor.
 
If we do this we will make disciples when people feel loved and accepted for who they are and not condemned.  Matthew 28:19-20 says "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.  And surely I am with you always to the very end of the age.


So the lesson here is love one another and don't criticize other people, unless you are calling attention to a Christian who is sinning. Love one another and don't judge outsiders.

Persistence in Life

Persistence to Pursue a goal is everything I have ever done.  In school, in work and in love.

In school, I have always worked hard and have never let circumstances deter me from doing the best I could. I wasn't the best in my classes.  I did well because I didn't give up.  I achieved my good grades by being consistent in studying, learning and asking for help when I needed it.  Any one can tell you if you apply yourself you can get great results.  The key is to carry on and not give up.  You may not be the top of your class, but you don't need to be.  Set your own standard and improve upon that.  If you can, you go for the highest result you feel you master.  I compared myself to myself.  I fought to be better than my last grade.  I took the endeavor to beat my personal goals.

In work I am dedicated.  I take my love of life, people and the Lord and I bring it to the work place.  We can live the life that is pleasing to the Lord in our job.  Through that I hope to be able to show others, by example, the Holy Spirit in me.  Then  when someone is interested or going through a trial I can be there for them.  The first step is to build relationships.  People are more apt to listening to what we have to say when they trust us, because then they know we are genuine. They know our heart is in the right place.  They would be more likely to come with us to church.  Then  from there the Lord is already working through us, but we have to be Bold.  We have to see the right time.

In love, I am always on a pursuit.  When I was single I went through many different stages.  When I was young, I was learning what it was but it was something I didn't fully understand. My parents loved me completely, but I didn't recognize that when I was little.  When I was older I experimented with dating people that were accidents.  I say they were accidents because almost every single one began because I needed a date to some kind of event.  I didn't realize that until I started dating people on purpose... my husband is the first person I did this with ;)  I had some extremely wise advise from my dad who said, "Jennifer, you need to stop reading about dating and relationships and find someone you like and make it happen."  I was to a point in my life where luckily I was tuned into my relationship with Jesus Christ and never have felt closer.  I was able to pray about it honestly.  I remember specifically a thought coming into my heart and it said, "Kyle would be perfect for you." I thought back to that voice and replied, "You are right."  I never talk to myself, never.  So this was divine intervention.

As a woman married to the love of my life, I am still persistent.  Every day I love my husband completely.  Love is patient, love is kind, love does not envy or boast, love completely, love through good times and bad.  With Christ in the center of our relationship it is much easier to do.  Since I am married to Kyle and he is a Christian leader in our relationship it also helps keep our love in the right place.  Love is persistent, just as we have the right to pursue happiness.  We have to live our life and as my Grandmother says, "Do your very best in everything you do, and you will never have any regrets."