My Legacy

I have had a lot on my heart lately about my dreams, the things I want to do, and transferring them into actions.  I realized recently I am ready!!!  I have been wanting to pursue my calling to write my story for a while.  I actually started my blog to prepare myself for this journey, essentially the next chapter in my life.  I am coming up on the 2 year anniversary of FunLovingJen.com and I feel equipped to take the next step.  Now, I am turning the page... 

The reason I am writing about this today is I want to hold myself accountable.  When you say things out loud and honestly submit your prayers to God, I really feel like He knows you are serious and you completely trust him.  God, "this is me submitting my life and the grace you have given me be brave and take the next step toward my dream and calling of becoming a real author."  I write, obviously with my blog, but I have always felt that there is an accomplishment associated with a hard bound book!

I have been praying about this endeavor and God whispered in my ear, "One step at a time, patience and determination lead to success, and hard work will pay off." Then I felt very inspired when he revealed to me, "a three hundred page book is 30 parts of 10 pages."  This is sounds absolutely nuts but this was a revolutionary mindset to me.  I think about 10 pages, and I think about one chapter or story of my life.  I could write one chapter of 10 pages and if I think about 30 different stories of my life I could accomplish this easily.  It was a comforting feeling.  This is why I feel God's presence in this path he is leading me down.

It was so daunting to think about writing 300 pages.  I now I am just thinking about it in sections.  My life has prepared me for this.  My courses in high school and my courses in college especially have been so helpful in developing my writing.  It is funny when I heard God's whisper, "Imagine how many pages of 10 I have already written!!" Just in FunLovingJen.com alone I have written 86 blogs posts!! I could probably compile a book just on my posts alone that I have already written. What a cool thought!!! 

But the blog is not my dream.  My dream is to be a published author.  My blog has been a means to an end... 

People talk about wanting to make a difference in this world.  My story is the type of story that will encourage people to overcome and thrive no matter what you go through in your life.  I know everyone has struggles and adversity.  Not everyone is comfortable or willing to share these intimate details.  Through the Lord I know this is one of the things I must do. 

This will be my legacy!

So grateful... I'm scared

I know I need to trust the Lord. I need to embrace the fact that whatever the circumstance, whatever the situation, every day, every year, for a lifetime because God loves you and Jesus wants to be your friend forever.  Our church, is part of the Northpoint ministries , teaches this and our mission is to lead people into a growing relationship with Jesus Christ.

I know he is my friend and he loves me forever.  I know this, I always have and always will.

But then the small voice in my ear, that evil voice whispers to me.  It doesn't seem loud but it is there...

"You're life is too good.  Bad things are about to happen."

So then I pray, "God you are so good.  I love you.  I am so grateful.  Everything I have is from you.  Everything that is good in my life, great in my life, every thing... I know it is a blessing from you AND I don't and never will take any of it for granted!!"

Gosh, it feels really good to write this down.  I confess to you that I know that voice is not mine and not Gods... It is empowering.  God never wants or wishes bad things on anyone.  If anything God knows a true believer will trust him and be grateful for the blessings in our life, no matter had small.

I feel so blessed: physically, emotionally, and personally.

Physically:  I am fit, I work out, I have lost 6 pounds.  I have recovered from a broken collar bone, too many sprained ankles, and breaking my nose... twice.

Emotionally: I am truly happy.  I love my job. I have healthy relationships in my life.  I have people that love me.  I feel satisfied with everything in my life.  I don't want for anything.

Personally:  I have the most amazing husband.  He is not perfect.  But he is definitely perfect for me!!!  I love waking up every day.  I know I can overcome any obstacle. I have been through a lot of things.  My life may not be the way I would have thought it would be... It is better.  My life is way better than anything I could have ever dreamed. I prayed for things and God answered the prayers he did because he knew how things would turn out.  He is always with me.  It is a very comfortable feeling.  A loving feeling knowing my Abba knows and has planned my life so that I may honor Him and give back to Him, living my life as a testimony of His will and grace.

So because of this I wake up everyday grateful.  I look at my husband, I am grateful. I look at my things, and know they are just things.  I love my family and friends, you guessed it... so grateful!!

So when I hear that voice whispering that bad things will happen, I'm going to say out loud... "God is with me, with Him I am safe and what ever comes along I will handle it and adapt." Because in all honestly I know from my life especially, His plan is the BEST plan!!