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Tuesday, April 26, 2016

One year after my mom died

It’s been a year since I lost my mom and I am still struggling, but now I am learning to live without her. I think about her every day and it is so hard not being about to talk to her and tell her the little things. The little day by day stories about what James is up to and the cute little moments it seems he is always having. Like yesterday, when he was “mowing the lawn” with his toy lawn mower and the landscapers told him he was doing a good job and thanked him for his help. Then later in the day he started peddling on his tricycle all by himself. Or Sunday, when he had a really good day at the Woodstock City Church Waumba Land Nursery and was a coloring champ during the craft time. Or Saturday night, when he ate his first ice cream cone and knew just what to do even eating the cone. It is so hard not being able to talk with her and share life’s special moments. 

I miss hanging out with her and watching her play and interact with James, going to the lake with her, my dad and my family, and going out to eat on our lunch dates. My mom loved me so much and was my first best friend. She was there for me when I first started having health issues in high school and helped me get back on my feet. She was always so positive and helped me keep my chin up when I got discouraged. She would say things like, “No one is perfect,” “Everyone is dealing with something, people just don’t talk about it,” “The people that matter don’t mind, and the people that mind don’t matter,” “Feeling sorry for yourself doesn’t help anything,” and the idea that perseverance and hard work pays off.

I’ll only ever have one mom and I was blessed to have a great one!! I do know how fortunate I am to have learned from her the grace, class, and love of being a great mom, daughter, and professional woman. I’ll always miss her and keep her memory alive through living my life to the fullest and being the best mom, wife, daughter and business owner I can be. I hope I make her proud and I know she is smiling down on me. I love you, mom.

1 comment:

  1. Hello - I hope it isn't too inappropriate to comment on an old post. I want to share that I came across this post because I googled your mother's name. She was my elementary school Discovery teacher around the time she completed her PhD. I remember her always reminding us to call her Dr. Beardsley. She had put in a lot of work to get there and absolutely deserved the title. I am looking into my own graduate and eventually PhD programs and she crossed my mind. I thought it would be nice to reach out to her and just say that I was considering a program and that after some 20 years I still thought of the impact she and her class had on me. I'm so sad to learn of her passing. She was an amazing teacher and I remember so many great moments in her class when she was encouraging and warm. I even have a vague memory of visiting her (your) home once and being in awe of the backyard. It's a silly memory of a 10 year old but I was always so impressed by her.
    I hope you and your family are well.

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